Between the lines
by vickay
Summary: Jesses journey through senior year and beyond.Falling in love with Rachel and out of love with Vocal Adrenaline. Was it really worth it? Growing up never was easy, so why would it be any different for him even if he was Jesse St.James? Spoilers for S1
1. Chapter 1

This is a first in the Glee fan fiction for me J. I usually stick to what I know which is the fandom of InuYasha and Yu Yu Hakusho crossovers ( and don't worry if any of you'se guys read this, my Kag/Hiei will always come first!). I read a lot of little oneshots for but never any actually really chapter stories, usually one shots that are linked? So I thought I'd give it a shot and if you like it review etc, because if it doesn't really work I think I'll stick with what I know. P.S Love a good Puckleberry too :D!

This will mostly be AU, I'll try and stay true to what's happened in the episodes so far but This story starts a little before the Funk episode. Hope you like and review if you want too.

Don't own Glee etc or any songs mentioned. **Edited!

* * *

**

Chapter 1 - Behind Enemy Lines.

Jesse leaned against his car staring at the gates of McKinley High School for what seemed like forever. His little mission for Shelby was over now and he had been welcomed back to Carmel High and Vocal Adrenaline with open arms. This was officially his last day at McKinley and the last day with Rachel as his girlfriend. Not that she knew it yet.

He had honestly done this as a favour to his favourite teacher, the woman who had nurtured his talent when she had sought him out after a performance in middle school. The woman was like a parent to him when his own where gallivanting around the world leaving him by himself. He had seen the unhappiness and conflict in her eyes constantly and it had only became more evident after watching the Sectional performance of McKinley Highs' New Directions. He had been actively blocking the noise the first two schools had spewed because honestly this school for the deaf where not going to be going to Nationals any time soon and the girls school singing Proud Mary in wheelchairs? Cliché much?

So he had been pleasantly surprised and slightly intimidated when a petite brunette burst through the doors behind him and started belting out Don't Rain on My Parade with a zeal Streisand would envy.

But when the girl had climbed up on stage and he got a good look at her face before turning to Shelby with an eyebrow raised he wasn't surprised to see her looking like all her ghosts had come back to haunt her. Jesse knew Shelby's secret. This Rachel Berry was her daughter.

When she had asked him if he would do her this one favour he had not been able to deny her , she was a mother figure and she was a friend. A friend who desperately wanted to reconnect with the child she had given away and so when she asked Jesse to befriend her he had jumped at the chance to help the woman who had gotten him scholarships to several schools including UCLA, NYU and OSU and had helped him pave the path to his future.

He honestly hadn't meant to fall in love with her.

* * *

Walking into the non-descript music store in Lima that day had been sheer coincidence but Jesse never had been one to look a gift horse in the mouth. He had moved swiftly to her and introduced himself. Almost smiling smugly when she recognised him before he even had the chance to say her name he quickly fired of a backhanded compliment. 'Treat them mean and keep them keen' he thought quietly to himself as he smiled at her in a disarming manner.

Looking at the music book she had lifted it took him all of two seconds to decide him plan of action before plucking the book from her fingers and walking over towards the piano bench. He was endeared by her deer caught in the head lights look when he told her they would sing together. She was endearing , but she was a favour to his coach so he needed to stay focused. As his fingers flutter across the keys he almost faltered when her voice joined his in the melody. If he had thought she sounded good at sectionals, she was pitch perfect right now. A part of himself knew it was a bad idea when he couldn't take his eyes off her even as he continued to play.

This girl had a way of bringing all the attention to her, she didn't even realise it. He had always found a girl who could sing very arousing 'I am a performer you know, the singings allowed to get me worked up!'. But this girl with this voice, she was dangerous. She had an original beauty about her and a voice to match.

He almost bit his tongue off when he realised he had asked her on a date but he found he didn't care as much when she accepted with that gentle smile that he just couldn't help returning.

Crap.

* * *

School had been interesting in the few weeks that followed, he still worked in class to keep up his GPA, he couldn't afford to let it slip with college around the corner, but he was always distracted. Even when Stacy, the female lead of Vocal Adrenaline made a pass at him that Saturday night at a party he couldn't pay her any attention because every time he closed his eyes a pair of doe-eyed brown ones where always staring back. Stacy was pissed and if he could honestly find it in himself to care he might have been annoyed at the fact that he wasn't getting any that night. But he'd been there and done that with Stacy before and she honestly wasn't worth anything more than the occasional hook-up. The girl was so pretensions she probably talked about herself in her sleep because she's constantly talking about herself when she's conscious.

He had called Rachel the morning after and asked her if she wanted to go out for coffee, she accepted on the grounds that they went for green tea instead because caffeine and dairy where a nightmare on the vocal chords. He hated green tea but when she sighed in pleasure after taking a sip he decided this once he'd give it a chance.

Shelby was always on the back of his mind whenever he wasn't around Rachel but he had a hard time remembering that this was a mission to prove not only to himself that he was a good method actor but to also help reunite his mentor with her daughter. Rachel had a power over him that made him forget his own ego and sometimes his own name. He really was just Jesse around her rather than the illusive aloof lead of Vocal Adrenaline who was bound to be a star. For a boy who hated forgetting his goals in life he liked forgetting with Rachel and just being. They kissed for the first time that night on her porch when she told him that this was the first time she had ever truly dated a boy without them having ulterior motives. He kissed her to try and forget the guilt welling up inside him begging him to tell her the truth and pleads she understand.

It was that night when he was lying in bed listening to the night make its own music that he realised something. He really liked Rachel Berry. In a very non friend-like way. He might even love her.

Shit. Shelby was going to kill him.

* * *

He had been right when Shelby asked him how befriending Rachel was going he had made the mistake of breaking eye contact. He still remembered the conversation as clear as if it happened like 2 minutes ago.

"Please tell me you are just friends with her Jesse" Shelby had pleaded. He couldn't bring himself to look at her.

"We're just friends Shelby, stop freaking out!", I willed my eyes to look up at her but it was too little to late.

"Jesse."

I hated when she used that tone, it was the one she usually only pulled on the rest of VA whenever they missed a beat or missed a step. Disappointment with a mix of exhaustion, like she knew I was lying to her and she was just waiting for me to spill.

"I kissed her last Sunday, I didn't push it but she kissed me back. I'll put a stop to it Shelby right now if you want me too."

She had looked so confused that he could see where Rachel got some of her vulnerability from. She looked at him again, and her look was cold, examining me, looking for something but to this day I will never be certain. She heaved a sigh before saying, " Hurt her Jesse and there will be hell to pay, just don't forget why your doing this."

I should have put a stop to it then.


	2. Chapter 2

**I was so pleased with the response I got for the first chapter :)! **

**Thank you to ALL who reviewed and everybody who just read what I've written so far, and another shout out to all those who added me to story alerts and favourites, whilst you didn't actively voice your opinions I'm glad you liked it enough to want to read some more :D!**

**I don't own Glee or any thing else really, just my imagination, my laptop and my tailless cat. **

**If I did own glee though, I wouldn't be to bothered about , because I'd have Jgroff in a cage in my room to sing to me on demand!**

_***shakes head and stops fantasizing about gay men I can never have ***_

Read, enjoy and review!

* * *

Sacrifices

After my altercation with Shelby, (that is what it was, she did threaten me!), I threw myself into knowing everything about Rachel Berry.

To an outsider looking in I might have looked like the perfect attentive boyfriend simply wanting to know everything about the girl of his dreams but I knew this was reconnaissance and nothing more.

The sooner this was over with the better.

* * *

This is what I told myself repeatedly, and maybe the egotistical side of myself agreed with this statement. But the part of my brain that dealt with rational thought seemed to be rendered useless where Rachel was concerned. She didn't even have to ask me questions to know about me. She asked questions, my upbringing, family, school, usual boyfriend girlfriend information. But sometimes after something as stupid as an argument about whether or not I believed Gerard Butler was a good phantom of the opera or not ( I did like him, his voice suited the role along with the emotion he packed, I just hated the way her pupils dilated seeing him in that shitty skirt in 300) she would look at me .

Really look and even though I am a sucker for a cliché the whole 'eyes are the portal to your soul' seemed like total bull until Rachel would look at me that way.

I had never felt as vulnerable in all my 18 years. And being in a business as cut-throat as showbiz, that's really fucking saying something.

She really just understood me and it freaked me out because the mysterious wall I had built around came tumbling down around us both, leaving me to be examined at her own pace.

I loved the feeling that I had someone who just clicked into place with me as much as I hated that someone had the power to render me in such a state in the first place.

* * *

It wasn't a month later after that god damn wiggles concert. I never could say no to her, I still keep that gaudy bear she won me, its embarrassing but she looked so pleased with herself that she had won something for me that I didn't have it in me to say that yellow care-bears were not really my thing. I was quite contentedly making out with my girlfriend when I opened my eyes to see a picture on her bedside table in a photo frame with the words 'Worlds best Dads' on it in a childish version of the writing Rachel had today with a picture of a young Rachel beaming at the camera snuggled in between to men. And that was when the guilt came back.

I asked her if she wanted to have sex, my reasoning not totally because of my hormonal teenage body. Rachel always made me forget the guilt, and the pain that I knew was to come, maybe if I could take the pain away for a little while, give her a true taste of the heaven she showed me then maybe I wasn't such a complete douche-bag.

It wasn't completely self-gratification nor was it a completely selfless motive either.

But hey, I am a teenage boy.

When she said she wasn't ready, and that she couldn't betray her team I wasn't angry with her nor was my frustration aimed at was all on me for saying that I'd agree to this arrangement in the first place because whilst I wasn't betraying my 'official' team it still felt like it. I walked out because if I didn't I knew I'd slip up and tell her everything. And then beg her to forgive me.

I finally understood what was meant by love brings pain. But when I was walking down the stairs of Rachel's house to my car and looked at a few pictures of her on the way down, I decided that maybe this masochistic tendency was worth all the pain she brought with her.

That was my excuse for indulging her with her 'secret love affair' that must be kept from her glee club. I could see she truly was conflicted. As usual I tried to kiss her worries away. When I heard a noise and opened my eyes to see Shelby looking at me I was kind of creeped out. I tried to tell her with my eyes to fuck off and stop watching my kiss her daughter. She seemed satisfied though, so I filed that information away for later, and then all thought process ceased when Rachel did that thing with her tongue that sometimes made me forget my name.

I wanted to thank whoever taught her to kiss like that, before I buried them in the garden for touching her in the first place.

* * *

It was a few days later that I convinced Shelby that transferring to McKinley High was a necessary sacrifice to help her get her daughter back. I might not have been able to lie to Rachel, and her mother might have been a person I found difficult to lie to also I soon came to the conclusion that when it came to getting what I wanted where Rachel was concerned. I had no qualms in the slightest about spewing lies. It was after I drove home with my transcripts that I realized I was in deeper than I had first thought. My parents hadn't minded to much with my change of schools, I think the slight paternal instinct that lay somewhere in there bodies was kind of grateful that my uncle Seth was willing to take me in.

So there I was living in a new house, in a district away from my friends and all the things I held dear to myself that I thought about whether or not any woman was truly worth this kind of dedication. I had given up everything to be with her, and yet it seemed that I was the only one making sacrifices. She had been unhappy with her glee clubs reaction and so she had willingly faked a public break up. I was annoyed, Jesse St. James wasn't exactly what you call a dirty little secret. Any girl in Carmel would sell their soul to be called his woman.

* * *

It was when he had turned up at glee rehearsal with Mr. Shue and rolled his eyes at their accusations because seriously. (The tall one staring at his girl friend and sulking in the corner simultaneously was just trying to piss him off.) And Vocal Adrenaline had never needed to steal information before, and with his as the lead (Was he still lead, shit. He'd worry about that later) they didn't need to start stealing information any time soon.

But then she looked at him with eyes filled with curiosity and caution and asked "What are you doing here Jesse?", that he remembered that just being around her made all the decisions and sacrifices and confusion ok. When she smiled at him like that, like all her Hanukahs had come at once he could honestly say he didn't give a shit about anything else.

Except maybe making getting her to make out with him in school later.

* * *

The weekly assignments thing was kind of cute if you where into wasting times before one of the biggest competitions a show choir can face. He didn't mind Madonna, he respected her as a musician and for all that she musician, and she was hot if you where into the whole MILF thing. Like that Puck boy was. Thank god he didn't have a swimming pool at his house. He didn't like the way he looked at Rachel when she wore one of her pleated skirts, if he saw Puckerman staring at his mother in the same fashion he might be put in the grave early and not after he took Puck down with him.

* * *

I can fully understand why Rachel is the way she is after being here at McKinley for a few days. The first day when I was walking her towards her advanced English class when some dude came up and threw a slushie over her, I had been most surprised. Nearly as surprised as the jerk who did it whenever I punched him in the face.

_How could people be so cruel to other students?_

She really has few friends here, and people just don't like her for some unknown reason. I've heard people whisper about how obnoxious and overbearing she is, do they not realize that this is the defence mechanism they created when they alienated her for being different from them? Fucking sheep clones. Every one of them in this god damn school, except for the glee club.

Maybe that's why unlike things in Carmel High where Vocal Adrenaline had been respected, this New Directions glee club was mocked on a daily basis.

Whatever, they hadn't heard his girlfriend sing. They where getting out of this cow town.

* * *

The whole Madonna thing got slightly more interesting for me whenever Rachel told me she's ready to have sex. I never wanted to push her into thinking she had to have sex and I was willing to take things at a pace she was comfortable with. I had sang 'Like a Virgin' with her, something I'll always remember before she bolted and locked herself in her en suite.

It took me ten minutes to get her out of that stupid bathroom.

"Do you want to talk about it? Or sing about it?" I had snorted out still finding her nervous habits amusing and slightly unlocked the bathroom door and pounced on me. For someone so small she could jump with the best of them.

I can still feel the heat of her blazing cheeks as she burrowed her face into my neck apologising profusely for still not being ready and being a crappy girlfriend. I had went back to recline on her bed with Rachel still attached when I explained that it was these qualities of hers that made him care for her and she had nothing to worry about.

When she was ready, she'd be ready.

I didn't feel half as lonely as I first had when I moved in with my uncle whenever we enjoyed quiet times like these. Her dads had no problem with me staying in the guest room of the house. They never did realise Rachel could be extremely quiet whenever she silently climbed into the bed beside me to let me kiss her goodnight thoroughly before turning around to let me draw her into my warmth. It was a good thing she always got up at 6 in the morning whenever her dads only got up at 7. And it was another good thing that I had always been a light sleeper so if they ever came to check in on the open guest room Rachel was burrowed under a mountain of blankets safe from her fathers' eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks for the reviews and for just reading my story. Season's over now. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself for the next few months. L! Read , enjoy and review, and I don't own anything either ! Ps please excuse the times I've made up. I live in Ireland you know? I don't know anything about it !

* * *

Blurring the lines

Jesse had been at McKinley with Rachel for a few weeks and was disgruntled to find that his diamond hard arrogant exterior was slowly melting away. He had resented the idea of practising in a roller rink of all things, the glee club here really was at the bottom of the food chain. He couldn't help but resent the way people walked all over them.

And when that drunk lady April grabbed his ass on his way out the door after Rachel, he had to spend around half an hour persuading her she didn't need to go and have a word with her. God knows Rachel was possessive of something that she had deemed hers. He had seen that crazy look in her eyes when someone else was given a solo she felt she deserved. She usually did. Mr Shu just usually gave it to someone else for reasons that escaped Jesse.

So everyone could share the spotlight? Perhaps, though he still hadn't given Jesse a solo.

Allow others a chance to shine? Maybe.

Sometimes to spite Rachel for having more talent in her little finger than the rest of that glee club put together?

Most likely.

* * *

New Directions though, they were nearly as dangerous as Rachel sometimes. If Rachel could see into his soul, New Directions had the potential to use it for good. God Forbid, Jesse had worked hard to be aloof and to cut himself off from people who would hold him back in his bid for fame. Yet there he was, clutching on to Rachel lovingly, like a lifeline, singing backup for that cliché awful pop song beautiful whilst the voluptuous black girl belted out the lyrics, Mercury? Mercedes? She was okay, a powerful voice Jesse thought. Powerful voice but lacks conviction. The chip on her shoulder would prevent her from getting far in showbiz. It annoyed Jesse when she bitched about Rachel getting all the solos on the bigger numbers, did she put in half the effort Rachel and himself did to perfect their range and pitch? Did any of them?

The answer was no. He could see it in their sharp tone and dismal dance moves. Though Mike was an amazing dancer, along with the two cheer leaders. The blonde one , he could definitely see on stage in a few years. All in all they lacked the training and determination Rachel and Jesse shared. So why did it seem like Rachel was being punished for working hard to achieve her dreams?

Jesse still didn't have the answer to that one, if Rachel had been at Carmel he could have known her for a lot longer than the few months he has already. She would have been embraced at the school where performers where revered rather than shunned. She could have had the popularity she ached for. If her mother hadn't been Shelby. Her home was on the district line so she could have gone to either, he knew now though why her fathers had sent her to McKinley. It was understandable to want to keep your daughter for yourselves but he couldn't help but resent them just a little bit for holding Rachel back for their own selfish reasons.

New Directions though, they had this spark when they all sang together. A connection he would have envied if they hadn't allowed him to participate too, this rag-tag group cared for each other in their own weird ways. Though he could honestly do without Finn 'Looking out' for Rachel. And for Puck to stop staring at her legs. And her ass.

Jesse had tried to tell himself he was being paranoid, Rachel didn't care for those boys anymore. Jesse had given up everything he had loved to be with her hadn't he? Finn had been to scared to congregate with her outside of the choir room up until Jesse had shown up. Then all of a sudden as soon as Rachel had someone else to depend on and care for he was all over her like a rash. Pity things didn't work that way in the real world, Finn couldn't just click his fingers and have Rachel jump for him anymore. Jesse was satisfied with his reasoning especially when it was his lap she was grinding on in his car outside the ballet studio after she finally nailed they're routine.

But sometimes even when Rachel was curled up around him in the choir room, her hand under the back of his shirt rubbing the small of his back as he twisted a strand of her hair amongst his fingers Jesse would see the looks Finn would throw at her and the small smiles she reciprocated and he didn't feel that confident over the hold he had on his girlfriend at all.

* * *

He had never felt more anger, jealousy and disappointment in his 18 years as he watched that nightmare of a video that 'Run Joey Run was'. He had been triple-casted with her two ex-boyfriends. One of whom is severely hung up on her, whilst the other would hook up with anything with a vagina and a pulse and a passable face. He hadn't even been lead in the video. Was he really not good enough for her? What the fuck did this woman want, his heart on a plate?

It was at times like these he remembered why he had regarded Rachel as dangerous at first. She had the power to turn him into her own little puppet with a mere flutter of her lashes, and apparently had the power to do so over other males as well. These little realizations reminded him why he was truly here. For his mentor and friend, Shelby. Not for himself.

Still though, after finally getting a chance to show his vocal prowess in Total Eclipse of the Heart and the argument that followed with Rachel he had needed to get away. Had they broken up? Jesse wasn't sure to be honest. It felt a bit like a break up and it sure as hell hurt like one. When Aaron, a tenor who he actually was friends with asked him if he was up for spending spring break in San Francisco he had jumped at the chance to get away. And to remember who he really was, not who Rachel Berry had made him.

* * *

After writing a simplistic email to Rachel on his blackberry before boarding the flight he deleted all the pleading messages and voicemail she had sent over the past weekend and turned his phone off, intending to leave it off for the week. This week was his own to enjoy. And when he shrugged Stacy's hand off of his bicep when she tried to come onto him it was not because the hand on his arm didn't belong to Rachel Berry and he could feel the ghost of she who shall not be named's touch over his pleasure spots, (the back of his neck, between his shoulder blades, the hollow behind his ear too name but a few).

It wasn't.

The first part of the week had passed in a blur of hanging out, parties and alcohol accompanied by hangovers and obscene amounts of time in the gym to work of the beer calories. And he could honestly say he hadn't thought of Rachel. Much.

The others had questioned him on his reasons for leaving Vocal Adrenaline, Stacy and Andrea had been especially spiteful. They thought he was doing some reconnaissance for VA and most seemed smug at the idea of getting one over on the little glee club who thought they could beat the power house that was Vocal Adrenaline. This was the agreed excuse with Shelby if any of his friends where to ask. So he did what he couldn't at McKinley, he lied and fabricated them the story they wanted to hear. Funny, he counted these people as friends and he could lie to them easily unlike with even the more hostile members of New Directions. He weaved lies of set lists and routines that New Directions had never practised and easily told them that New Directions lacked talent and could never stand side by side with Vocal Adrenaline.

And he was right New Directions could crush them with their passion, love for music and spirit alone.

When Andrea, another ex-hook up asked him if he had slept with the enemy yet he had sobered up quickly. After telling her not to be jealous of his conquests who had a shot at getting another go unlike herself he had not been able to not think of Rachel. After lasting 4 days without hearing her voice he had finally turned his phone back on. He was surprised with he only found one text waiting for him from Rachel.

_**'My voice is gone. X'**_

He had already been typing in the web address of that creep who followed Rachel like a bad smell to see if this was true and what else had happened before he would ring her. Looking at stalker's blog he found Rachel had a bad case of Laryngitis. Shit she had to be freaking out big time. Her voice was her way out of this shit hole, just like himself. His lips had turned back in a haughty sneer as he clicked on the accompanying link that had Finn serenading Rachel with Jesse's girl. What a little dickhead. He hadn't been away a fucking week and that gangly jackass was putting the moves on his girl?

* * *

Though he did have to give stalker boy props, the little creep really was everywhere. His fingers were dialling before he realised what he was doing and his phone pressed against his ear as he waited impatiently for the other person to answer.

"Hello?" God she did sound terrible. Of all times for him to go away.

"Hi Rachel, I got your message," Jesse explained in a soothing voice.

" I missed you this week, how's San Francisco? Are you having fun with your friends?" Jesse's brow furrowed. She was diverting. She knew what he was going to ask and she was steering away from the topic.

"Rachel I'm not ringing to talk about myself. My friends and San Francisco are fine. How're you doing?" He could hear her breathe becoming more ragged like it usually did when she was trying to compose herself. The sniffling always came next before the tears, Jesse could speak Rachel fluently. "Baby, your voice is going to get better you know right? What did the doctor say?"

* * *

She spent the next 20 minutes telling him the full in depth diagnosis, along with what she had researched on the internet. She had been adamant not to have surgery and the doctor had gave her anti-biotics, Jesse knew this already. Rachel had an irrational fear of doctors as it was and to subject her to being in a building surrounded by them would be like torturing the girl. Jesse spent the following ten minutes soothing her, promising everything was going to be alright.

"I'm really sorry I'm not there baby. I'm sorry you have no one to deal with this with you. Are they being nice to you? No ones slushied you since I've been gone have they?" He couldn't bite his tongue, depending on how she answered he might well have been booking a flight there and then home. His friends would understand, and if they didn't fuck'em.

" They're being ok, Finn took me to see his friend from football camp today. H-He had an accident and now he's paralysed from the neck down. It made me think that I would get better. I feel a little bit ungrateful though, my voice is gone for two weeks and he's going to suffer for the rest of his life. He's the same age as us Jesse. And no, no ones slushied me since you broke Anderson's nose… you barbarian" Rachel giggled and Jesse grinned into the phone. He was a bit pissed that Finn was yet again going after Rachel but at least she didn't feel alone while he was gone.

"Maybe you can do something nice for him then? And I am not a barbarian and you know it , that illustrious title belongs to the mohawked caveman who impregnated Quinn!". His smile grew as her laughter became louder. Talking to her always was easy and natural.

"What time is it with you Jess?" she queried curiously, he glanced at the clock on the bedside table that allowed a dull red light to shine through his darkened room.

" 2:30 round about."

"It's 11 here," she sighed out. 11 on a school night and she answers the phone on the first ring? Rachel is a creature of habit and always goes to bed at 10 on a school night. Usually dead to the world around her ten minutes later. This must have really got her worked up.

" 11 on a school night Rach? Acting rebellious? Should you not be in bed sleeping and counting Tony's?" he teased.

" I am in bed" she said simply and Jesse almost groaned.

"Really? And what are you doing in bed Rachel?" he queried with a knowing smirk.

" Don't be so full of yourself St. James I'm lying in bed getting ready to go sleep. It's kind of humid tonight though, so I'm just lying here in some things you left." she stated somewhat smugly.

"Oh? What are you wearing Rachel?" Two could play at this game.

" Just your queen t-shirt and a pair of boxers you must have left here in the laundry when you stayed over". Jesse really did groan. He loved when she wore his clothes. Whether it was a pair of his socks when her feet where cold and they where watching a movie at his uncles or his hoodies' after an impromptu dance and subsequent make-out session in the park.

" That sounds nice baby."

"What about you Jesse?" he grinned, he had her now. They'd do this sometimes. The whole phone-sex thing. The first time had been an accident. He had been at home releasing some tension after one of their steamier kisses, it would have went further than a kiss if her dad's hadn't just came in the front door resulting in Rachel and Jesse bolting away from each other and Jesse smiling as politely as he could at her dads as he practically ran out the door with major wood due to their talented beautiful daughter. And she had rang to see if he was okay. The rest was history…

" San Francisco's really hot too, just lying here in bed , talking to you in my boxers, that's it though. Too warm for clothes you know?" He grinned as she moaned quietly. Going to sleep his ass. "You sound really tired Rachel, maybe I should just go."

"Are you sure you want to Jesse?" He grinned as his hand reached into his boxers to wrap around himself.

"I dunno, my hands are a bit full right now." He closed his eyes as he slowly stroked himself thinking of the girl who occupied his mind most of the day.

" I know how you feel, I think I'm in the same predicament." His eyes widened before they narrowed as he swiped his thumb over the head of his shaft spreading the moisture coating there. She voice, still raspy was really sounding sexy right now.

" You know I kind of hate it and love it at the same time when you touch yourself, tell me what your doing Rachel."

" That's because your greedy and jealous of yourself. No ones touched me the way you do. You know what I'm doing Jesse" she murmured breathlessly. And she was right. No-one had ever touched her the way he had and he was glad to have been the person to introduce her to her own body. They hadn't slept together but he can honestly say he didn't care. He was happy with her pace.

" So you are pleasuring yourself? To the sound of my voice Rachel? Are you using your fingers Rach?" he quickened his pace and clenched his jaw, his mind working overtime providing him with images that were not helping his attempt at self-control.

" Mmhm"

"Do you wish it was me doing it to you Rachel, do you wish it was me pleasuring you?"

"Always." He grunted, for a girl who made him question himself and his position in her life she always made him feel wanted.

" I wish it was me too." Jesse stated earnestly. Well as earnestly as he could having phone sex with his girlfriend with his dick in his hand.

" Ahh, so close Jesse." He felt his eyes roll back in his head, she wasn't even in the same city as him and she still has this insane control over him. The thought sends shivers of fear and pleasure pulsing through him.

" Are you ready to do as I tell you Rach?" at her murmur of agreement he set about sending the girl he cared for like no other over the precipice and into oblivion. " Two fingers baby, I know they're wet so slide them in kay? Nice and slowly. Curl them. Now rub against that spot. Just like I do" He whispered out.

" Jesse!" she whimpered out. He could feel himself thickening in his hand as his testicles drew upwards towards his body.

" That's it Rachel, just like that. Imagine its my hand doing that. That its me curling my fingers inside you. Pressing my thumb down on your clit. Can you see me do it? Can you feel me doing it?"

His answer was erratic panting and a satisfied mewl as her orgasm ripped through her. He bit his lip as it became to much fir him and he spent himself all over his stomach and thighs. He groaned in satisfaction and after wiping himself clean he fell back on the bed bonelessly.

"Rachel?"

"I'm still here."

"I really am sorry about your voice, I wish I was there with you."

"I miss you too Jesse."

" Good night Rachel"

"I love you Jess"

"I know, you too."

" G'night Jesse"

* * *

That night as he felt sleep overtake him he realized that he wouldn't have long left with Rachel. If Shelby wants to know Rachel as soon as he thinks she does Jesse and Rachel are in the concluding few chapters of their story.

He could only hope there would be a sequel.


	4. Chapter 4

Not much to say, I'm supposed to be revising but this chapter is stuck in my brain and I need to get it out before I actually combust. I don't own glee or anything else. I would quite like to own Jonathan Groff but slavery has been illegal since the 19th century. Pity…*slaps face to stop drooling due to perverted thoughts*. Read enjoy and drop me a wee review if you feel like it XD?

* * *

**When the proverbial shit hit's the fan.**

Jesse had spent the rest of the week in San Francisco trying to enjoy being around his vocal adrenaline friends. These were the people he had grown up with, and they had been through a lot together. Literally, the show choir circuit could be vicious to a young persons and the team always banded around them to help them get through the criticism, scars and broken bones. And they had always been taught you are only as strong as your weakest link, the solution of that problem was crystal clear.

Never be weak.

And Vocal Adrenaline exemplified the antithesis of weakness, they where a well-oiled machine that could spew out lyrics and dance moves like no other.

New Directions on the other hand were a group that still confused Jesse, they didn't make sense on paper. They where a walking clique in a sense, a band of merry misfits all trooping along together to take over the show choir world, one song at a time. But it was their vulnerability that was probably their biggest strength. They where rude to each other, bitchy and sometimes downright hateful. But if anybody was to so much as looked at one of them the wrong way that didn't belong to their little dysfunctional family they where fiercely protective of each other. It was as sickeningly sweet as it was heart-warming.

Arriving at the airport, he had somewhat expected Shelby's being there. She hadn't spoken to him in well over a week. Her voicemail had been filling up his phone more frequently recently and Jesse had enjoyed being in denial that things with Rachel really had to end so soon, if even at all. Why did Shelby have to choose him of all people to seduce her daughter. He had enjoyed being the all singing all dancing playboy of VA who went through girls like hot meals. Now all he thought about was the petit Jewish girl with an unreasonably large set of lungs.

He had never before turned down sex, unless the girl wasn't up to his standards, God forbid she was unattractive, or worse she couldn't sing, but in the space of seven days he had turned down sex 4 times. Four whole times. With four different girls. That was A LOT of sex. He couldn't so much as look at them lustfully never mind interact with them in a sexual manner. All he would hear was Rachel's breathy moans and sighs and have images float through his brain of her lying in bed, talking to him whilst touching herself.

Sex could be overrated anyways.

* * *

Jesse had followed Shelby dutifully into her car not bothering to look back at his ex-team mates. They probably thought it was more espionage work with Shelby against New Directions anyways and he wasn't about to correct them. If he told them he had a girlfriend, they might kill him. But if he told them his girlfriend was Ms Corcoran's daughter they might kill themselves whilst Shelby kills him.

She drove towards his house and they stepped inside together, Jesse remembering his manners and offering her tea.

"I thought you were a coffee drinking like myself Jesse?" she pondered as she moved towards the mahogany table in the centre of the kitchen.

"I drink it now and again, not to good on the vocal cords coming up to Regional's. I've acquired a taste for tea" _And your daughter_, he added silently.

Jesse flicked on the kettle when she nodded absentmindedly. They stood in companionable silence as Jesse fixed their drinks before setting them on the table and sliding into the seat directly opposite of her.

"So why did you up and disappear for a week ?" Shelby questioned bluntly. He almost smiled at her, sometimes her and Rachel really behaved exactly the same.

"I needed a break, McKinley High isn't exactly America's dream high school you know? When Aaron offered I decided it would be a good idea to get away from everything" _And your daughter who completely fucks with my brain._

" Do you want to tell me the real reason now?" Really, they where to alike Jesse thought. How did they always see through him?

" I needed a break from your daughter."

"What did she do?"

" She's..._indecisive_, doesn't know what she wants or needs. It frustrates me."

" Uh… right. Well are you ready to go back now? Regional's is coming up soon and I want her to know before that." Shelby spoke quickly, feverishly and excitement in her eyes. What was she thinking anyways?

"I'm going back tomorrow yeah, I haven't told Rachel though. She likes surprises. Shelby, I understand why you want me back before Regional's, I was made for the solo in Bohemian Rhapsody… you haven't let anybody else do it have you ?" his eyes narrowed at the mere thought that of anyone in VA thinking they where good enough to sing his parts.

Shelby laughed fondly at his arrogance, " Of course not Jesse, nobody could hit the notes like you, you know your too good for the rest of them anyways" she said indulgently. " I guess I just wanted to… I don't know, give her the option?"

And then it was like an epiphany for him, Shelby wanted Rachel not only for a daughter but also for Vocal Adrenaline. In theory it was perfect, mother and daughter reunited by a love off all things musical, he could almost see the reunion in his mind. But just because something makes sense in theory doesn't mean that it turns out as well when out into practise.

"Shelby," he started out slowly, "You do realize she'll never join Vocal Adrenaline. Rachel is nothing if not loyal to the bone and honestly, even though sometimes they treat each other like crap, they love each other Shelby. She's stick with them through thick and thin."

"But she might-"

"Shelby, she'll never leave them." Jesse wondered why it hurt to put those words out in the open, to spare Shelby's feelings or his own? He'll never know but he does know this little piece of knowledge was a hard pill to swallow.

"If it was for the right reason Jesse, we'll never know unless the options out there. She needs to know soon Jesse."

Jesse's next words were choked. " You don't get it Shelby, you might be her biological mother, and I might be her boyfriend but New Directions are her family, her everything."

Shelby stared at him for what felt like hours. " Shit, she's really got to you hasn't she? Tell me you don't love her Jesse, please? Lie to me if you have to."

"This started off as an acting exercise, but now I kind of like her. I don't want her to get hurt." There was no way in hell he was going to tell her mother he loved her before he told her first. Shelby would kill him if she realized just exactly what her star singer and her daughter had been doing over the phone for the past few days never mind what they do when they're alone.

"Encourage her more, ask questions. Put the questions in her mind. If she knows about me, does she want to know about me. You know the drill Jesse." He stared at his tea until he heard the front door slam closed.

* * *

Jesse had walked through the door of McKinley high before staring at his watch. He unconsciously moved towards the dance studio where he knew Rachel would be. She had a free period before lunch and she usually spent it perfectly a routine. He had missed glee before school purposely, no point in getting overly attached if he would be leaving soon. Jesse walked into the studio quietly and stood in a corner silently observing his petit girlfriend as she twisted and contorted herself into several dance moves. Her body taught as a bow , sweating and in gym clothes. Jesse had never thought she looked more beautiful.

"Hi."

"Hi" she blushed before continuing, "How was your spring break?"

_Lonely without you,_ " Good… it's good to be back. What where you just rehearsing?"

Jesse would have been disgruntled when she backed away as he moved forward but he new her reasoning. He found it cute that she became all shy after they did something akin to hooking up. It amused him how innocent she could look right now, youthful and uncorrupted. When just last night she was pushing herself over the edge talking dirty with him. He frowned when she went on to talk about a man coming to glee club before going over her plan for Broadway domination.

Dreams?

Shelby's dream for a daughter would be Jesse's nightmare.

"That's not a dream. A dream is something that fills up the emptiness inside." Like you do with me, you make me feel and that scares the shit out of me. " The one thing that you know if it came true all the hurt would go away. You singing Don't cry for me Argentina in front of a sold-out crowd isn't a fantasy it's an inevitability." And even though he felt like a douche for even saying it Jesse knew it was true. He couldn't help but smile gently as she wrapped her arms around him. Relationship's shouldn't feel this perfect when your in high school, they're hostile, ever changing and fickle minded. Yet being with Rachel like this makes him forget all that.

"I thought you'd never come back."

"And miss all your drama? Never." He would be there for as long as she wanted him to be.

"So what is it ? Your dream?"

"I don't know."

"Well then go inside, find it and ask it what its got to take."

"Why are you pushing this?" _If only you knew._

"Because you're my girlfriend, and I want to know all your secrets" he grinned down at her. "When you lie awake at night what's missing?"

"My mom."

And that's when Jesse realised it wasn't his place to keep Rachel to himself. It was selfish in a way just like her fathers had been by sending her to this shiteous school in the first place. And so being a good boyfriend, he offered to help her find her mom.

He had tried to keep the smile of his face when she tried to persuade him her mother was none other than Patti Lupone. Of course she would look into things this way, it was Rachel Berry, his gorgeous, slightly arrogant little crazy girlfriend. He didn't want her any other way.

"Look at the pain in her eyes and the hurt she's feeling from giving up her obviously talented daughter!", Yeah that was Jesse's Rachel Berry alright. Delusional to a fault but adorable none the less. He was going to hate himself for taking the sparkle out of her eyes.

"One question, what was in it for her?" He smiled gently as she rambled excuses before asking him if he wanted to hear her reasoning behind why Bernadette Peters was her biological mother. It would always be Broadway or no way with Rachel. He liked the determinedness she possessed, it matched his own.

* * *

Jesse had found himself being extra clingy that day as they went through school only separating for classes. He touched her anywhere his hands could reach respectively in public, her hands, arms, hips and the small of her back his favourite destinations. Behind closed doors he had contentedly mapped whatever flesh he deemed fit with his mouth and Rachel could do nothing but sit there and moan quietly as she stroked and clutched his curls, or drag his mouth up to meet hers every now and again. Jesse loathed PDA as a rule. He never got attached to girls for there to be a reason to touch them anymore than necessary outside of the choir or bedroom but he felt that he needed to touch Rachel whether it was a glancing stroke of his fingers against her cheek or a clutch of her waist when they kissed. Their bodies always seemed to gravitate towards each other and Jesse was not the only person to blame. He nearly purred out-loud when her hand slipped underneath his t-shirt to dance across the small of his back or when she would talk to him and brush his curly hair out of his face.

They had went over to her house that night to look through the 'Rachel Berry Museum' in the cellar in hopes of finding something to do with her mother. Jesse had thought it cute that her fathers where so obviously dedicated to her life. Even when they where out of town a lot, they always made time for the things that where important for Rachel. Jesse was envious, he's lucky to see his parents 5 or 6 times a month and instead of parenting his parents thought a nice amount of money added to his account every week made up for their distance. It didn't.

Jesse had strategically placed the tape Shelby had given him into one of the boxes before pulling it back out again and feigning surprise.

"What's this? From mother to daughter?" He held it out for her to take.

"Oh my god she wrote this. She held this in her hand.." Jesse yanked the tape out of her hand with the intention of putting it on to play. Rip the band-aid off in one go. She would listen and then he would plead for forgiveness.

"W-what are you doing?"

"Playing the tape!"

"N-no!"

"Why not, she wanted you to hear this?" He hated himself for pushing this on her.

"I'm not ready, look this is all happening to fast! What if she singing on that tape? What if she's terrible or worse what if she's better than me?"

"I can't believe we're so close to your dream coming true and your running away from it."

"No It's my choice, and it's my life…and I'm not ready. Jesse I think that you should go."

He stared at her pleadingly but she refused to meet his gaze and so finally he did what she told him. He walked away.

* * *

It was later that night that she rang him.

"Jesse?"

"Hey Rachel, what's wrong? Did you listen to the tape yet? Do you want to talk about it?"

"N-no, I haven't. Not yet. I can't get it off my mind though and I can't sleep."

"Are your dads home?"

" They're in Detroit. Daddy has a meeting with some new clients."

"I'll be there in 20"

"Thanks."

* * *

He's there in 15.

He lets himself in with the key Rachel hides underneath a potted plant and saunters up into her bedroom. He finds her lying on the middle of the bed in a thin satin camisole and shorts set staring up at the roof. He yanks his t-shirt over his head and kicks off his tennis shoes and joins her in nothing but a pair of running bottoms. Her hand automatically searched for his and automatically intertwined their fingers.

Both couldn't help but think how perfectly their hands fitted together.

"I'm so scared."

"I know."

"I can't listen yet, I have to sort my head through all these new stressful events. My anxiety levels are skyrocketing as we speak. I might go into cardiac arrest the path fate has chosen for me and then I'll never be able to go to Juilliard or NYU or be on Broadway-"

"Rachel?" she turned to look at Jesse but before she could question him his lips where glues to her own.

He knew he shouldn't be doing this, especially not with her but after giving her the tape its only a few days at most before he has to go back to Vocal Adrenaline and Carmel. This would be their one last hurrah before everything would eventually come out . This wouldn't be their ending, but a instrumental where everything was allowed to sort itself out before they got around to concluding their story. The potential length of this instrumental frightened him.

* * *

After Rachel started reciprocating the kiss after her initial shock Jesse pressed himself closer to her. Her tongue darted out to outline his lower lip before running along his teeth when his mouth split into a grin before allowing her to enter. Rachel didn't know any other role but the lead.

His tongue came out to tangle playfully with hers as one of his hands found its way to the hair at the nape of her neck digging in softly for leverage as his other crept up her toned thigh. He tugged gently on her hair as he released her lips before pressing open mouthed kissed along her jaw and down the expanse of her neck before finding a spot and sucking on it leisurely grinning at the turtle neck he knew was breaking out of her closet tomorrow. Rachel moaned quietly when he bit down before soothing the bite mark with his tongue before trailing kisses along her collar bone. The sharp tug on his own hair pulled his lips back up to hers as Rachel's legs wrapped around his body, one hitched high on his hip and the other clung onto his thigh using her heel as leverage before moving their hips closer together and pressing them chest to chest. Jesse had to take a deep breathe when Rachel rocked her hips against his.

Seeing the mischievous yet slightly apprehensive glint in her eyes he smiled at her warmly before reaching down to kiss her soundly before rocking his hips back against hers gently a smug look in his eye when she arched upwards for more contact. Jesse grasped the leg attached to his own and gently wrapped it around his waist before sitting up, bringing said girlfriend along with him. They pulled their lips away from each other and at Rachel's nod his fingers danced around the edge of her camisole before slowly inching it up and off her soft yet toned body. She pressed her now naked chest against his own as she dived for his lips, kissing him quickly before kissing his chin and upwards along his jaw before her tongue came out to tease the hollow of his ear. He could feel her smirk on his neck when he groaned. He encouraged her to sit upon her haunches before mapping out the valley between her breasts with his mouth. She was always so paranoid about having a small chest size. To Jesse she was perfect, everything about her was perfect. He licked along the underside of one before dragging his tongue upwards towards a puckered nipple and sucking soundly as one hand ventured up to pluck its twin, the other hand planted firmly on a round buttock.

His eyes almost rolled back in his head when she ground down on him. He pulled away with a loud 'pop' and admired his handiwork before turning his attention to the other breast his fingers now ghosting their way down his flat stomach before settling on her hips as his thumbs stroked along the 'V' of her hips and dipping in the waistband of her shorts. She angled her hips towards him before gently rocking downwards on the very present erection trapped behind Jesse's boxers and bottoms to his thigh before her own hands moved downwards along his shoulders massaging gently before moving southwards slowly. Rachel bent her head to kiss along Jesse's neck before kissing lower to reach his collar bone. She gently tugged on a nipple herself when Jesse pulled away from her and groaned out as her hand met its destination inside his boxers.

He pressed his face into her neck and pressed kisses on the same spot repetitively as her hand curled around him stroking firmly at a pace set to drive him insane.

"Rach" he basically whimpered.

She pulled away from him before slowly standing up and gesturing him to do the same. Curiously Jesse stood up slowly and Rachel gently pulled his Running bottoms off, leaving him clad in his boxers before pushing him backwards towards the bed.

"To many clothes Jesse, I'm not ready for… you know but we can still do other stuff like we have before." She looked into his eyes earnestly, "Can't we? Your not mad with waiting are you?"

"I'd wait as long as you want Rachel, I'd wait around for as long as you want me." She smiled at him brilliantly before moving backwards onto the bed and straddling his lap. Her hand reached back inside his boxers and Jesse was glad to have finally gotten rid of one heavy layer. He wasn't actually looking for sex for once. He would quite happily settle for whatever she was willing to give. One thing about Rachel, whatever she did, she did it perfectly. And this was no exception.

After quickening her pace Jesse's hands clenched on her waist involuntarily before sliding down her outer thigh and trailing slowly up her inner thigh before his hands spread to grasp said thighs and spread them. A finger trailed along the edge of her shorts before slowly stroking upwards towards the apex of her thighs. Dragging a finger along her centre Jesse found her delightfully wet and used his finger to spread the moisture there.

He bit his lip to stop himself yelping when Rachel gripped him tightly when his fingers had moved over her clit. He stared into her eyes challengingly before slamming his mouth to hers as he plunged two fingers inside her heat.

She pulled away and moaned out a "Jess!" before her hand resumed stroking at a faster pace, her thumb gliding along the vein on the underside of his length, tracing it gently. He pressed his thumb down on her clit and grinned when she bucked in his hand before he curled the two fingers towards himself and rubbed in a circular fashion. He wasn't going to last long if things kept going the way they where and he would be damned if he came before she did.

Repeating his motions he slowly dragged his fingers out before sliding them back in, curling them and rotating them as his thumbs traced circles around her clit. Rachel's hand also began to speed up, the only noises in her bedroom their harsh breathing and the occasional grunt or moan, a name thrown in now and again.

Jesse pushed her to lie down gently before covering her body with his own and slowly unstitching her hand from around him. He smiled down at her.

"Hey" he crooned.

She breathed out a "Hi" as Jesse kissed his way down her body, making sure to be gentle and thorough as he kissed his way down a hip bone. He looked up to find Rachel leaning on her elbows looking down at him dazedly whilst experimentally tugging at the elastic of his shorts knowing there was nothing on underneath. She froze but the look in Jesses eyes and the gentle ways he was touching her made Rachel nod her head and watch in apprehension as he tugged her shorts down.

He looked up at her and tried to take her in. She was the most gorgeous creatures he had ever laid eyes on. He had obviously seen women more attractive, stronger, thinner but they paled in comparison somehow. He picked up a leg and placed it on his shoulder before kissing and licking his way along her calve. He pressed a kiss into the crease of her knee at the back and grinned mischievously at her when she shivered. Their gazes stayed locked as he kissed his way up her thigh, his breath brushing against the apex between her thighs. Rachel dropped backwards onto the bed when he pushed his face forward to nuzzle her before his tongue parted her and latched onto her clit with vigour.

* * *

His name on her tongue was probably his favourite thing in the world this very minute, the second was currently pressing against his face before he lifted his hands to press her downwards onto the bed. He took his time to explore her with his tongue before eventually shifted his head to attack her clit as one of his hands moved downwards to join the party. It was minutes or even seconds later that Rachel clenched her thighs around his head and arched off the bed, a throaty call of "JESSE" bouncing off the walls in her room before he moved backwards to discretely wipe around his mouth with his hand and grab her shorts and pull them up over her legs and onto her body. He reached for her top but placed it beside him as he reached up to gently peck her lips before bending down to peck each nipple and reaching her arms over her head and tugging her top down.

Jesse worked the blankets down from underneath them and climbed onto the bed with her and pulling the covers back up.

"But you didn't…"

"I know, it doesn't matter."

"I don't mind"

"Tonight was all for you baby, relax and go to sleep. we've got school in the morning." He hauled her up against him and curled his body around hers protectively.

"G'night Jesse."

"You too Rachel."

He tried not to think about how this might possibly be the last time he gets to hold her like this as he reaches over to turn the bedside lamp off. His body relaxes into a comatose state after Rachel presses a kiss to his shoulder.

* * *

The next day is much the same as any other when he stays at Rachel's. They wake up early, she wakes out whilst he goes out to his car and grabs the change of clothes he left in the back seat forgotten the night before. He showers before she does because she always does take forever in the shower and changes quickly allowing his hair to dry naturally like it usually does. She has a smoothie and his favourite morning chat show waiting for him in the kitchen as she moves forwards to grab a shower of her own and get ready for school. They carpool and everything feels like it normally does in their little bubble, intimate and secretive. Things are perfect when everything else just disappears. No gargantuan potential girlfriend stealers or secret parents ready to pop out of the woodwork.

She seems off throughout the day so when they go back to Rachel's during lunch like they do on Tuesdays and he finds he spaced out in her bedroom Jesse decided enough was enough. He love forwards and put what he had named the 'tape of mass destruction' into the cp player before she knew what he was up to.

"Jesse what are you doing here?"

"I said I was going to help you make your dreams come true", I truly am sorry it's come to this.

"No! I'm not ready." Jesse moved forwards quickly.

"Yes, yes you are". He pressed a kiss to her lips and pressed play before moving downstairs to wait for her. This moment is her own and not his to intrude upon.

He should be pleased that all the acting can finally come to an end, instead he feels sick to his stomach. Ten minutes later Rachel appears down the stairs her back stiff and eyes mysteriously red. Jesse went to comfort her when she shook her head.

"I'm fine." _That's what you think, it's not over yet Rachel._

They both went out to his car sombrely and made the journey back to school in silence lost in their own thoughts. As they got out of the car and walked back towards school they absentmindedly reached for each others hands twining their fingers together. An unconscious gesture of trust and wanting.

* * *

He finds it ironic that the last song he sings with McKinley High's New Directions is Dream a Little Dream because he's fairly certain these people and a certain pintsized brunette firecracker are going to haunt his.


	5. Chapter 5

Hi, thanks for all the reviews, alerts and favourites. Honestly, you guys really make me smile every time an email comes up! I haven't updated in a little while but hopefully this chapter will make up for it! By the end of this chapter (fingers crossed!) I should be at the Funk episode and next chapter we'll hopefully see what happens during it. Then we should be caught up to where we started in Chapter one with Jesse standing outside McKinley, and if everything goes to plan in the next chapter we'll see Regional's and what happens next for Jesse, I kind of don't want to take to much time without them being together though, but I'm still exploring different ideas and I hope you guys want to stick along for the ride! I've been reading so many good stories (check out On Her Own, words can't describe how good it is) and I'm feeling really inspired, hopefully it won't be too mediocre :P !

I own nothing ;(

* * *

**Chapter 5 - Are you happy? Are you satisfied?**

After what would be his last rehearsal with New Directions he had sombrely dropped Rachel back home after hugging her close and pressing a kiss to her forehead. His mind was playing through all the different scenarios that were possible now that his last hand would be coming into play soon. Today was a Tuesday meaning Jesse had just under a week to move all of his stuff back to his own home and inform his uncle of his leaving McKinley and transferring back to Carmel.

Later that night whilst packing clothes into gym bags and throwing them in the boot of his Jeep Jesse thought over the events of the past few months. He had gone from the king of Carmel High with an assured scholarship to UCLA to a love struck teenager with a broken sense of morality and a sore heart.

If Jesse had to blame anyone he would blame Shelby. She had thrust him in the direction of Rachel without the adequate means to protect himself or his heart. He had been naïve enough to think that he could pull of this 'acting exercise' without becoming emotionally attached. That had been his first mistake.

* * *

His second was allowing himself to become so enamoured with Rachel that he was literally willing to throw everything away for her even though she obviously had some issues, a freakishly tall quarterback comes to mind, she needed to work through before she would ever be emotionally available to actually realize the good thing they had with each other. Jesse had realized this and understood that he would have allow her to work through these problems by herself.

Transferring back would be good for the both of them, he could finally be able to make clear headed decisions again were he wouldn't unconsciously adjust his choices to suit a certain brunette too.

She might finally be able to realize that she needed him as much as he needed her.

* * *

Jesse came out of his internal monologue when his uncle clapped a hand on his back before pulling him into a short hug. He hadn't minded staying with his uncle, Alex was the cooler younger brother who was as easy going and pleasant as he was successful unlike his mostly absent big brother who occasionally played the role of father to Jesse when he wasn't gallivanting half way around the world on 'business' trips. It had been fun while it lasted anyways but a part of him thinks maybe Alex understands why he's made this decision more than he's letting on. He would file that away for later contemplation.

He smiled the smile that in 6 years would earn him rave reviews when he debuted on Broadway at his uncle before pulling away from him and getting into the drivers seat and beginning the 45 minute journey back to his own house. He jumped when his phone started belting out the ringtone Rachel had set to her name- Don't Rain on My Parade. Her version of course, she had downloaded the audio from a video that had been posted online. A ghost of a smile graced his mouth, his girl was nothing if not conceited and slightly egotistical. His mouth hardened as he actively prevented himself from reaching over and answering the phone by clenching his hands around the steering wheel, he almost sighed out loud in relief when the answer machine picked up the call before staring determinedly out at the road telling himself this was the best decision for both of them. Carmel would allow him to pursue his future and Rachel would understand, she had to understand.

Jesse turned into his driveway and got out of the Jeep to grab his bags before letting himself into the house and dropping them on the floor of his cold bedroom floor. He glanced up at the clock to see that it had just gone 10 and he decided that he would unpack his things tomorrow. Instead he moved towards the bathroom mechanically suddenly feeling dirty before stripping off and stepping in, hardly flinching at the cold water that blasted his chest before slowly heating up. It was hard to feel cold when your whole body felt numb Jesse decided.

* * *

The next day had been a tough one. He had woken up mid morning and glanced at his phone to see 5 missed calls and 3 texts from Rachel, obviously worrying where he was. He deleted the texts before he could be tempted into reading them. Jesse thought that if he heard her voice he wouldn't be able to help himself from grovelling and pleading for forgiveness of the sins he had committed that were still unknown to Rachel. He spent the rest of his morning doing random household chores to prevent him from thinking about her and McKinley too much before doing some vocal exercises and stretches before heading back upstairs and dressing.

After freshening up in the bathroom Jesse marched down the stairs, grabbed his car keys and a bottle of water before locking up and getting in his car and heading in the direction of Carmel High. Entering the student car park he parked beside the other Range Rovers absentmindedly before moving in the general direction of the auditorium and Shelby's office. His heart beating hard in his chest as he hummed along to the Queen song playing on his Ipod. He didn't bother knocking on the office door but rather marched right in and sat gracefully on the chair before lifting his feet and propping them on the desk in front of him. He raised an eyebrow in challenge at Shelby who was regarding him warily with thinly veiled curiosity in her eyes.

"Back so soon ?" She questioned brusquely.

" It's done."

"Does she know it's me, have you talked to her about it?"

"She doesn't know yet, but she should soon. Rachel has listened to the tape, I know her well enough to know she won't let this lie."

"Thank you Jesse, I re-"

"Don't mention it." Jesse answered back curtly, and when he seen her open her mouth he quickly added, "Seriously don't mention it."

Shelby's mouth closed and her cheeks darkened momentarily before she met his gaze unflinchingly looking for something. Jesse gazed back in the same way silently cursing the woman for having a daughter in the first place and for letting him love her. The woman may have some maternal instinct buried within her that she sometimes exposed Jesse to whenever his parents hardly bothered but Jesse knew she wouldn't hesitate to kill his dreams if he ruined hers. Jesse always had a gift for making good selfless friends.

Whatever she saw in his eyes was enough to content her as she began telling him about the number's she has been considering for Regionals. She never once asked about any of the New Directions numbers or if he knew anything about their set list. Shelby may have been a cut-throat tyrant of a musical director but she wasn't a cheater, regardless of the rumours spread about them Vocal Adrenaline had never once cheated in a competition. They worked hard and were dedicated to music and winning in a way that allowed them to bond as a team. Sure, they terrorized other teams on occasion and 'psyched' them out but that was mostly for their own cruel amusement and not because they felt threatened by other show choirs. They had earned the three national titles Jesse had brought to them through rigorous training, singing lessons and practising until they had nearly passed out from exhaustion. They didn't have to do it that way, but this was what they had chosen to do because they loved music and winning that much, sacrifices where made and in Vocal Adrenalines case it had paid off.

"Are you taking part in practise today?" Shelby queried.

"Nah, Gaga's not really my thing. I'll come down in a while. Mind if I sit here for a while?"

"Knock yourself out kid, Come down later and talk to them, regardless of what they say Jesse, they've missed you. I've wanted to shove those hideous extensions of Andrea's down her throat she's complained that much about how Conrad's dance moves are sub par to her's."

"Please, you and I both know I made her look like a half decent dancer, not the other way around."

* * *

Shelby grinned as she walked out the door. He doodled absently on a page as he heard the beginnings of Bad Romance blast through the speakers in the auditorium below him. He popped his head phones back in and tried to clear his mind as Queen soothed the beginnings of a headache in his temples.

He was finally back where he belonged. He was going to pick up his transcripts tomorrow and officially come back to Carmel and Vocal Adrenaline and compete with them at Regionals. Then he would sit his finals, get the good grades he had earned through hard work and a high IQ before graciously accepting the unconditional offer of a full-ride through UCLA before moving to New York and finally gaining the recognition he deserved for having a voice as smooth as funny and a face that was too sweet to be wholesome. Jesse was going to be a someone rather than another American statistic. That was the plan.

_'Another One Bites The Dust's'_ deep beat and the accompanying drum began to ooze from the earphones and he couldn't help but listen to the lyrics carefully. They described his feelings perfectly. The constant questions he had asked himself about Rachel, about how he was supposed to act/function without her, the consequences of being with her and how it affected others- Shelby, New Directions and Vocal Adrenaline. He soon found himself putting the song on repeat as he grabbed another sheet of paper before writing the lyrics and arranging them adding little notes about the choreography here and there. He sat for about another half an hour going through it and making slight changes here and there. Jesse smiled to himself before removing his Ipod and jamming it in his pocket in his haste to show Shelby and VA his new idea.

* * *

Jesse could honestly say he nearly shit himself when he saw Rachel sitting near Shelby in the empty auditorium and he decided he was not going to interrupt this moment and quietly moved towards the door beside Shelby's office that would lead him out of school and into the car park. Looking up he saw the members of VA standing around looking at his car speculatively. Jesse straightened his back and held his head high as he walked towards them, the only sign of his nervousness was the fingers playing with the edge of the page. He stopped himself , Jesse doesn't get nervous, to show emotion was a weakness with these group of people.

"Are you back then?" Aaron questioned with a mischievous grin at the same time Andrea snidely asked "Here with your newest lay?"

" Hardly Andrea, don't be jealous that I never went back for seconds. And yes, I am back. For Good."

"How are we supposed to know that Jesse? You've left us before, how do we know you won't go back to those losers. You were our leader Jesse!" Jesse fought not to flinch at that, he had to bit his tonguewhen they called New Directions losers, he didn't like them but when using the term generally they where including Rachel and that might cause a problem.

"I never left and you know it, you all knew I was there doing work for Shelby."

"But you weren't spying Jesse, we just heard that little midget girl call Shelby her mother. That's not spying!"

" Andrea, stop with the constant nagging dialogue, nobody gives a shit. I was there because Shelby sent me there. No other reason. And now I'm back and now we're going to win." He smirked at her as her mouth hung open before using two fingers to shut it and pat her on the head condescendingly. His eyes flickered back towards the auditorium. They could be finished talking any minute, he needed to get out of there, while the visitors car park was a good bit away he wouldn't put it past Rachel to just know he's there. That's the kind of power she has over him, she just knows things about him. She was two years younger than him, a tiny little thing, and he was pretty certain her body was 1/3 lungs alone. But the thought of her wrath put the fear of god in him. And he was an atheist.

Jesse turned back towards the Vocal Adrenaline members still around him to see their reactions. All the boys seemed to cool with him being back, if not a little resentful at Jesse probably getting the most attention as soon as he was back at rehearsals. The younger girls and the ones he had remained on a strictly professional basis with seemed genuinely pleased he was back. A few juniors looked at him with a hungry look in their eye that once would have had him getting in their pants but now they where all too tall for his tastes, their hair the wrong colour, their eyes too small. The few he had hooked up with were either seething like Andrea, Giselle or Stacy whilst some looked on with interest or didn't really care, Araby and Kendra standing out with their amused glances.

Aaron slapped him on the back and welcomed him back to the team whilst Conrad whispered a thanks for getting him away from Andrea.

" Do you even know anything good about them? About the midget girl who's taken your attention and Shelby's? Set Lists? Weaknesses? Anything, because you sure as hell don't know our numbers! We have to accommodate to you as per usual Jesse?" Andrea and her minions never did know when to shut up Jesse thought as he sighed.

"We don't need their set lists, we're Vocal Adrenaline. We don't need to cheat because we are superior! And don't start about Rachel and Shelby. You don't know shit and if I tell Shelby your starting with this kind of crap you'll be off the team before you can say Regionals. I will have the routines done. I've got another one in mind I want to go over tomorrow and we will have it down by the end of the day. And perfected by Thursday. Problems anyone?"

The members of Vocal Adrenaline were completely silent as they watched Jesse. He was their leader for a reason, if they thought Shelby could be bad Jesse could be worse when he demanded perfection. He rarely created routines for them either and when he did they where usually gold dust. Jesse had always been close with their coach and had always sat quietly and allowed her to do with them as she pleased only making slight changes now and again where he felt were necessary. They nodded solemnly and watched as his eyes flicked towards the now opening Auditorium doors. His face paled slightly before he regained his composure and nodded them all off and got into his Range Rover driving out of there like a bat out off hell.

* * *

Jesse never saw Andrea leaning against her car listening to Giselle bitching whilst looking thoughtfully at Rachel Berry ,who was sliding gracefully into her own little mini-cooper, with a deviously malicious glint in her eye. He never stood a chance with what was going to happen next


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi, thanks for staying with me. I'm itching to get this chapter out of the way. Hopefully an update so soon after the last one is a good reparation for not updating for ages? Thanks for the reviews I've gotten for Chapter 5 so far . Shout out to 'cc' who I can't reply to as she/he was anon! Thanks for the review, really give me the boost I was needing. I'm glad you like my Jesse, He's kinda angst when he's not being a conceited jackass.. But that's kinda sexy :P! Muchos gracias!**

**AA/N This chapter has been edited to get rid of mistakes that had been annoying me for a while! The next chapter is about halfway done but my laptop is out of business for a few days until I a new charger! Fingers crossed that I have the next chapter out by Tuesday!  
**

**I don't own anything. I wish I owned Jonathan Groff, but sadly that's illegal.

* * *

**

Chapter 6 - Coming full circle

Jesse had arrived promptly at Shelby's office at 3 o'clock to show her the new routine he had envisioned the day before for her seal of approval. He had the finished product so quickly because thankfully editing a song and shifting the pieces around to suit peoples voices and cleaning up a dance routine you haven't seen preformed unless in your mind is enough to distract you for a few hours.

Stepping into her office he hadn't expected Shelby to be sitting there with such a pensive look on her face. He moved into her line of sight and sat down and raised a questioning brow in Shelby's direction.

"Shelby?"

"I had dinner with Rachel last night." He wasn't ready to hear about Shelby playing happy families with Rachel. A tiny part of him was selfish for having to share his mentor with his (ex?)girlfriend and the other part of him was jealous that he had to give up Rachel altogether. He had trophies, inconsequential girls, Vocal Adrenaline and memories of what he decided was the best relationship of his life. Rachel had a loving family, people who although through strange ways cared for her, a (albeit incredibly stupid) boy mooning after her and now Shelby. He took comfort in the fact that at least they both still had the music.

"And? How did it go then?" He managed to choke out, fearful she might hear the emotion in his voice he kept his face a carefully blank mask. _Thank God for 10 years of acting classes_.

"It wasn't what I expected… Rachel's a grown up, an adult in her own right. She doesn't need me in her life now. She has taken care of herself and her dads have obviously done a great job. I'm not really needed. I don't know where I fit in."

"Shelby, she has always needed a mother. Give her a while to warm up to the idea. This is as new to her as it is to you, she's only 16 Shelby. She's not an adult yet." He couldn't let her do this to Rachel or to him. He had ruined his relationship with Rachel to allow Shelby the opportunity to have one with her. He owed Rachel this at least.

Shelby sat there silently gazing at him for a minute before she finally spoke, "I'll try, for her at least. I owe it to us both I guess. Was there something you needed Jesse? You aren't back on the attendance register yet... Come to tell me your not coming back to us after all?" She had said it in such an amused and smug tone that Jesse was literally seething.

If only Shelby knew how tempted he had been to stay, then she wouldn't be laughing…

" Your attempt at humour is noted. No actually I came to show you a routine I had in mind. I forgot to lift my transcripts on Tuesday, Rachel was with me anyways. I'll pick them up from McKinley on Friday morning, I want this routine perfected before I can think about anything else."_ Especially your daughter and being in close quarters with her_.

" Fine, fine. What do you have in mind?" and so for the next half an hour he talked Shelby through the routine he had in mind before looking at her pensively to see if she liked it. The huge smile on her face told him he had done well and he felt a little better that at least he wasn't a fuck up in all the aspects of his life. She stood up and patted his curls in a maternal fashion.

"I knew there was a reason you were my favourite Jesse." He chuckled before he opened the door for her and allowed her to pass through before following her towards the stage were the rest of VA had assembled themselves. " And don't think I noticed you taking a week off school, I'd call you a slacker if I didn't know better."

"I knew you only kept me around to bask in my brilliance Shelby, and to use my talent for yourself!" He laughed. "I deserve a week off, I may have a god like shell but I assure you I'm as human as the rest of you." Jesse smiled before jumping up on stage and listening to Shelby give out orders.

* * *

Within 4 hours Vocal adrenaline had the basic routine down and the vocals had been perfected, with Jesse back at the helm they all felt unstoppable once again. Many had thought Vocal Adrenaline had seen their last trophy when Jesse had moved to McKinley. Espionage or not, they had all seen Rachel Berry in action as well and while everyone in VA obviously had both vocal and dancing skills and blended together in a way most people were envious off and rightly so, the idea of Rachel Berry and Jesse on the same team, singing and dancing together was just scary.

With Rachel and Jesse's voices mixed with their determination, Rachel's ability to appear vulnerable and strong at the same time as she laid her heart out for all to see in her songs and Jesse's skill and knowledge of the competitive side of things the two of them could have been unstoppable. Understandably, this had made Vocal Adrenaline wary of the petite brunette. But with Jesse back at Vocal Adrenaline things where finally back to normal.

A few where still cautious and wary of Jesse himself, fearing unleashing his temper like Andrea had yesterday and getting a verbal thrashing. No one questioned his loyalty to the music but a few did question his loyalty to Vocal Adrenaline.

And it was all Rachel Berry's fault.

* * *

Jesse was walking out towards his jeep with a few of the boys. Laughing about the look of outrage on Giselle's face when Jesse called her out on being flat midway through the song. Speaking of the devil, Jesse glared at her when he found her leaning on his car. She hurriedly removed herself from it and walked towards him.

"So your back at Carmel right Jesse?" she questioned, making Jesse instantly suspicious, her voice was sugary sweet. He frowned.

" I told you yesterday. I'm back at Carmel and Vocal Adrenaline. Did you just like miss the 4 hour rehearsal there? I'm highly annoyed Andrea, you were my partner and you know my performances aren't forgettable." He smirked at her.

"Oh I remember Jesse." _Crap_, he hadn't meant it like that. "It's just I'm the teachers assistant in English and when I was collecting the register for her other class you weren't in it."

"That's because I'm not officially back until Monday." Jesse knew where she was going with this. He was going to drop her on her head in the next rehearsal.

" How come you haven't transferred back already?" If looks could kill Andrea Cohen would be seven feet under already.

"I haven't gotten them from McKinley yet, I was going to get this later this week."

"Well Regionals are in four weeks and I know we usually leave this until two weeks before hand… but what do you guys all say we start earlier on intimidating the competition." Andrea spoke to the whole group rather than Jesse. Hearing the laughs and murmurs of "Hell yeah" he knew he had to acquiesce.

"Whatever, what do you have in mind?"

" Lets go in and show them why we're the best. Your our leader Jesse, show them who you belong with. A routine in their auditorium. A fierce one, Another One Bites The Dust would be perfect don't you think? We all know that's what they're going to do at Regionals" she smirked.

This was why the girl was TA in English, she gave a rousing speech. And one Jesse couldn't argue against or be seen to be standing up for McKinley. He obviously hadn't fully consolidated his return to power yesterday.

"Fine."

"So we all go on Friday then? Perfect. Hear that guys? Friday, we're heading to McKinley. And don't worry, we'll show them why we are the three years in a row champions while they are no better than stray dogs fighting for the crumbs that fall from our table like all those other glee clubs." Most of the Vocal Adrenaline members still hanging around cheered at that. Still laughing they all started to call the others or text them the news of a show down at McKinley on Friday. Jesse just stood there staring at Andrea who was walking away from his car who just smirked at him before winking and getting in her own car.

He was helpless to stop this now.

* * *

The next day passed far to quickly for Jesse's liking. At home, he had done nothing but move about his house restlessly, constantly pacing or glaring at the clock or his phone. Everything seemed to be mocking him. Unlike yesterday there had been no messages, voice-mails nor phone calls to constantly set him on edge and yet sooth his agitation at the same time, those attempts to communicate with him meant she was worried about him and Jesse liked knowing she cared.

The clock however just wasn't slowing down. He had to go to rehearsals in around forty minutes to be there on time.

The day was going to fast.

He didn't want to go to McKinley.

He wasn't ready to face them all yet.

Rehearsals passed in a breeze of leather, tutu's and Freddie Mercury. He wasn't even surprised that Shelby had costumes ready for them already. The woman probably kept Eastern European children locked in her cellar to make stuff on demand.

The routine was perfect if he said so himself. It was one of his edgier ones but creative and it exploited all of Vocal Adrenaline's talents. If Shelby was the organ grinder then Jesse could definitely be the puppet master of Vocal Adrenaline, they both had the capability to bring out the strengths of Vocal Adrenaline and showcase their talents and prevent the task from becoming tedious.

At the end of practise he moved towards Shelby. She had seemed a little off again today and he felt that he knew the reason why.

"What happened this time?"

"She came to me yesterday after rehearsals had finished. She needed help doing a costume for Lady Gaga. The one she was wearing was probably the cutest and simultaneously saddest thing I'd ever seen in my life. So I guess she did need me for a while. But that wasn't enough Jesse."

He frowned at her. "Go on?"

"I went to see her this afternoon after. We talked and decided that for now we're going to be grateful for one another from afar for a while. Then maybe we can start again later. She sang with me. Her voice is so beautiful Jesse."

He didn't even have it in him to be angry at her even those a large part of his brain realized that he had given up a good stable relationship with a girl who he really cared for only to have it thrown back in his face when they shared a relationship that lasts a dismal few days? Was that all his feeligns were worth to others? A few measly days playing family. He fought down teh urge to run to his car and comfort Rachel. This was as much his fault as it was Shelbys. He had put her in the firing line when he pressed play on the HiFi.

Jesse thought that for someone as lucky as he usually is he has shit luck where his love life was concerned.

"I'm sorry."

"So am I, don't think I didn't realise what you gave up for me to have a chance with her." Shelby said as she walked past, stopping to squeeze his shoulder gently. "Give it time, things have a habit of sorting themselves out". With one final squeeze she walked away, back to her office.

* * *

When he woke up that morning he knew it was going to be a bad day, Jesse felt it in his bones. He had dressed on auto-pilot after a hot shower. Grabbed a bottle of water and a granola bar before locking up and getting in his car for the long trek back to McKinley.

The others were there waiting for him as he drove morosely into the parking lot. He walked into the mostly empty corridors and made his way to the office. As a legal adult he was able to get his own papers and sign his release forms from McKinley.

The group where then met in the corridor by a surprised yet gleeful Sue Sylvester who all to happily allowed them into the auditorium. How she got a key Jesse will never know, the glee club had been given the auditorium as gift from that drunk lady who felt him up so that Sue wouldn't get in.

Vocal Adrenaline had walked in and set everything up to their liking and Jesse looked at his watch. It had just gone 10 and the glee kids all had the period free and Jesse knew from experience they usually came here to rehearse or just jam. The first one's through the door had happened to be the blonde Cheerio and Mike. He almost waved back at Brittany when she waved exuberantly at him but Mike wore a confused and disbelieving look that slowly contorted into rage as he yanked his phone out of his pocket and began ringing someone. From the looks of it, it must have been other glee members as slowly but surely they all filtered into the room.

Rachel had filed in last, she was walking tentatively as though walking through water on a beach cautious of holes in the sand, unsure of what was going on. She looked at him dazed.

"Jesse… what are you doing up there with them?" She looked so innocent right then, so vulnerable, so _breakable._

"I've transferred back to Carmel High Rachel, I'm sorry that it's come to this but you guys were awful to me." _Well Finn anyways, the rest you where just justifiably suspicious_, " You never accepted me. You never listened to my clearly superior ideas ."

"Why are you here?" Jesse bit his tongue and blocked out the rest of what he said, he really hated when that buffoon started flapping his gums. What a waste of energy and oxygen that could be put to better use by people who could actually sing.

"The blogs and chat rooms say that we're finished and that you guys are ripe to topple us. We just wanted to show you a little something that we came up with a few days ago to see if you agree with that assessment." Jesse heard the venom in his own voice, the idea that any mediocre group thought they could do better than him coupled with the presence of Finn and Rachel just standing there looking like he'd destroyed her autographed Rent playbill was grating on his nerves.

When the music began Jesse lost himself in the song. He sang his heart out and it showed in his performance. His notes were pitch perfect and his dance moved executed sharply. He would look out towards his audience, Rachel, and lured them in with his words. He tried not to smirk when jealousy flashed through her eyes momentarily with Andrea groped him continuously throughout the routine. It was over before he knew it and Vocal Adrenaline where laughing at some catty comment made by Andrea. He might have heard it if he hadn't been staring at Rachel intently.

Jesse could feel his show face slipping off the longer he looked at her. Let her see the hurt for once, know what it feels like to be second best to a glee club.

His face told her of his frustration with her and the decisions she's made while also trying to convey that he's sorry but this was all necessary.

He really hadn't meant to hurt her.

He never _wanted_ to hurt her.

* * *

He had walked off the stage quietly and re-entered the halls of McKinley. He'd leave the rest to Vocal Adrenaline. On his way out he seen the burly jock who had slushied Rachel on one of his first days here. He walked over to him and smirked. The jock turned and started at him, obviously confused.

"Something you want loser? Where's you little freak of a girlfriend anyways, you know if she didn't act all crazy all the time I would totally be up for banging her, maybe give her a reason to put that mouth to use for once?" The neanderthal surmised as he smirked at Jesse thinking he had outwitted him.

Jesse stood there then tilted his head, looking like he was examining something putrid he had never seen before. The jock hadn't had time to do anything when Jesse's right fist reared back and snapped forward connecting with his eye this time rather than his nose.

Pity that.

"You will stay the fuck away from her when I'm gone" It wasn't a question but a fact. "I'll explain in simpler terms dumbass. Rachel is off limits. If I hear anything concerning you and Rachel getting bullied you had better learn to sleep with one eye open. Because nobody touches what doesn't belong to them." He glared at the jock who was holding his hand over his eye protective and glancing at him warily as if expecting another punch in the face. " We clear?"

"Right fine, whatever. Berry. Off Limits. Got it."

"I'm glad we had this talk, bye douche."

Jesse walked towards the car park feeling some what better. He had finally proved to VA that he was their leader and not about to jump ship anytime soon. He still felt extremely guilty for leading Rachel to believe that he's betrayed her. Because while she might see it that way he was just trying to give her the best gift that he could. And Jesse still firmly believed Rachel would need a mother more than she would need a boyfriend.

* * *

The following Monday everything had been back to normal in the life of Jesse . He had come to Carmel early and had registered again. The crowds in the hallways parted in awe that finally their prodigal son was finally back. He truly was back where he belonged and couldn't help but bask in the positive comments and compliments he was getting from everyone though he chose mostly to ignore the sexual offers, some of these girls could put Santana to shame.

He had received warm welcomes from classmates who offered to help him catch up with work or even do the homework's for him, but he just smiled and said that he knows where they are and has the work done already, it's just being transferred over. He chose to ignore the questions and curious looks thrown his way. His teachers welcomed him back to, Jesse was a bright kid. He was pleasant and polite if slightly arrogant when it came to giving answers but the all-knowing smirk seemed to endear him to teachers rather than annoy them.

All in all his first day back hadn't been any trouble at all, it had been the perfect school day so far, seniors where allowed off campus for lunch and the other senior members of VA had decided they wanted to go to a café they had frequented for years for lunch. They where still smarting over the damage done to their cars. Jesse had been a bit pissed off knowing this was the mohawked miscreant's work but he could understand why. He had heard on Friday on the way back to school that the other more immature members of VA had tepee'd their choir room and he knew that if someone had done that to Vocal Adrenaline all hell would break loose. He could already see Giselle's crazy face if that ever happened, seeing it once when their tyres had all been let down while they where only a few hundred feet away practising for Regionals had been enough for Jesse. Her shriek off outrage had almost deafened him in his left ear.

* * *

Walking out the gate he found a group of 8 senior Vocal Adrenaline members waiting on him. Sadly, Andrea Cohen was among them but Jesse decided this was an experience to balance out his good day so far. The group had split into three cars and Jesse tuned out the crap Aaron and Seth, a tenor who could do triple flips that could make a gymnast turn green with envy, where spewing in the front seat about some level on Call of Duty. Eventually he just closed his eyes intending to sleep his way too the café.

Feeling the car pull to a stop he opened his eyes. Jesse was confused when he realised they where in the car park of McKinley High, he was about to question the two boys in the front but they where already out of the car and moving towards the other group of teenagers who where standing in a circle whispering away to each other. A feeling of dread entered Jesse's stomach as he moved to get out of the car, walking heavily over to them.

"What the hell are we doing here?"

"Just a minor detour dude! These McKinley kids didn't really think they would get away with just paying for our tyres to be repaired? C'mon Jesse we have to retaliate!" Seth blurted out excitedly.

"Yeah? And what exactly was your genius plan?"

" Get you to ring them and then get them out here then we'd surround them. Throw things at them and them get back into our cars and get a kick-ass lunch leaving them here covered in shit?"

" I don't have their numbers, I only have Rachel's" It slipped out before he could take the words back in.

"That's perfect" Andrea crowed viciously. " Well then ring her, she's their star. We traumatise her and their as good as over at Regionals!"

Jesse blanched. " That's not fair Andrea, we don't target people remember. This isn't showing we're the best this is picking on people!"

The others around him looked at him strangely. Jesse had never complained about targeting someone before. What the hell was different now?

That's right. Rachel Berry.

"Are you scared Jesse? Are you that much of a pussy?"

He ignored the question. "What do you have with you guys anyways. There was nothing in Aarons car."

"Kendra and Andrea brought eggs."

"No way, she's a vegan. This isn't cool."

"Jesse, are we really going to go over this? I knew you weren't with Vocal Adrenaline. You are nothing more than a treacherous dick " Andrea hissed.

Jesse clenched his teeth. This was peer pressure, and he knew he shouldn't give in. " I have nothing to do with this. You can do what you want but I'm not throwing stuff at her."

"Just ring her Jesse that's all you have to do" Andrea smirked at him. He reluctantly dialled. That would be his second mistake of the day. The first was not walking away when he saw this spiteful bitch was coming along for lunch in the first place.

He steeled himself when he heard her pick up.

"Hello?"

"Meet me out in the parking lot." He hung up in fear of telling her not listen to him and stay as far away from people in blue. He turned back to the 8 seniors standing around him.

"That's my part done in this, I'm going to wait in the car."

"Just a second Jesse, we need you to stand where she'll see you. That's all. Just stand there and look pretty. We'll do all the work."

" Never expect a favour of me in your life Andrea. Never."

"Thanks babe."

Jesse had barely been standing there alone for 5 minutes when he seen her making her way towards him. He was such a giant douche-bag. He couldn't believe he was actually going to let these people do it to her. But she didn't understand. Jesse needed Vocal Adrenaline to get out of this cow town. They had to trust him. Maybe… maybe if she hated him then it would be easier for him to leave to California? Maybe high school would be more bearable for her if he wasn't here at all. All he'd done so far was ruin her once perfect little world. All he seemed to do was cause ehr trouble. This could be a clean break for her, for both of them to heal from the unintentional wounds they had inflicted upon each had broken Rachel's heart and she in turn had broken down his defences.

She was getting closer and he couldn't help but forget that there where people here trying to sabotage her. When she smiled he couldn't help but beam at her and wave. Jesse's face dropped when he seen Seth stepping out from behind his car and lobbing an egg that connected with the back of her head.

He needed to let this happen. He needed to let go off her, to allow her to move on from him. If she hated him that would be easier. Jesse kept his face blank but he couldn't stop himself from flinching every time an egg touched her. He wanted to run over and cover her but he dare not.

He absently felt an egg being pushed into his hand. He frowned down at it.

"I hear you're a vegan Berry, the souls of those poor egg foetus's are all on your conscious now" Andrea smirked. That laughter that followed from the other members of VA sounded extremely loud and intimidating. Even to Jesse's ears. It was more like jeering than anything else. He felt his stomach turn.

"Do it Jesse." He turned his head to look at Andrea. What? " Are you with us or not?"

No, she wasn't doing this now. He looked around all the eyes of his fellow VA members who where there. They all looked back at him the same way encouraging him to do as they just did as if it wasn't a big deal, like she was just another girl. Rachel was anything but just another girl, they just couldn't see it _yet._ Most of them sneered at Rachel and at Jesse for stalling. They were pushing him to do it. He couldn't help but feel humbled by teh fact that for almost 18 years he had never given into the pressure his peers had attempted to put on him, and yet in the space of twetny minutes he had suddenly become a puppet to their whims. He hated them nearly as much as he hated himself in that moment.

He walked forward slowly eyes locked on Rachel. His breathing was laboured and he stood frozen.

"Do it. Break it like you broke me heart." And he had broken her heart. He might as well seal the deal. She had a knowing glance in her eyes.

"I loved you." _I still do and I'm so sorry for not being strong enough to stand up to them, I'm sorry I'm such a coward._

The cracking on the egg sounded like his heart felt. He watched in morbid fascination as the yolk travelled down her face and he watched her struggle for her composure.

They looked at each other intently for what felt like hours but was rather mere seconds before he walked away to Aarons car. He didn't trust himself to stay around her any longer. If he wasn't careful he might have started crying as well, or at least try to clean her off while begging for forgiveness and littering her with apologies.

He wasn't worthy of her forgiveness.

* * *

The car ride to the café was a silent one until Jesse demanded they pull over on the side of the road. He jumped out of the back seat before retching into a bush bringing up the food that had been in his stomach all day. He needed to purge himself off this, he deserved to feel the bile rise continuously up his throat. After what he'd just done to the girl he loved more than nearly anything in the world he felt he deserved a lot worse. The tears associated with vomiting began, but Jesse would never be certain which where a natural reaction to being sick and those which where his own.

Seth and Aaron watching him silently before passing him the bottle of water.

He looked up at them after rinsing his mouth out.

"This never happened."

Aaron paled. "We're sorry Jesse, i-if we knew...we didn't know you car-"

"THIS NEVER HAPPENED" he roared. The two boys in front off him nodded mutely. They got back in the car and drove to lunch. Jesse didn't eat with the rest of them.

"Andrea's face puts me off food, unsightly things usually do."

* * *

That Friday when he sat in the audience listening to Rachel berate him and the rest of Vocal Adrenaline for their behaviour towards him he was proud. She was standing up for herself finally and the defiant look on her face was really hot. Andrea shifted uncomfortably in the seat next to him.

Her legs did look amazing in those shorts too. He had been pleasantly surprised when Give Up The Funk started blaring through the auditorium…

He was enraptured by the fun everybody was having on stage, they where singing together and dancing and laughing and having fun. They had their hearts on their shirts.

It was refreshing. And it was intimidating.

He couldn't help but glare balefully at the quiet black teenager who was currently grinding with Rachel.

He felt oddly proud of McKinley's New Directions and felt thoroughly chastened for believing they where another forgettable glee club. Of course they weren't.

They had Rachel Berry at the helm.

* * *

He felt his eyes narrow at Mohawk boys nonchalant "See you punks at Regionals!"

He turned to Andrea. " They did a funk number, we've never been able to pull off a funk number."

She stared straight ahead still shocked by what she had seen. Jesse decided there and then it served her right for ever thinking she was better than Rachel. "That's because we're soulless automatons."

_Speak for yourself there. I just have control over my emotions_. Well as far as anything not concerning Rachel was concerned.

"I'm so depressed."

Understatement of the fucking century.


	7. Chapter 7

**Thanks for the alerts and favourites! And the reviews, you don't know honestly how much they mean to me, it can get a little intimidating when there is so little response to the story, I've had over 1000 hits for this story per chapter and 40 reviews? It kind of makes me wonder if some people don't like/aren't interested. So if you do hit me up with a review? I'd be really grateful (: I don't like begging for reviews it's just I'd like to know where my readers want this story to go and if they are enjoying it so far. But thanks to those who review for every chapter, I love you amazing little muses!**

**I don't own Glee, if I did. It probably wouldn't be shown before the watershed. And would probably only have Jesse and Rachel in it…**

**Hopefully it will be easier to understand too, as there will no longer be any flash backs so everything should be set in the present tense/from Jesse's point of view!**

**Read, review if you want. Just try and enjoy!

* * *

**

Chapter 6- All I've ever learned from love

Training for Regionals was easier for Jesse than he had first anticipated. Without anything holding him back he threw himself into practising with vigour, if only to get a few hours of peace in his mind. The distraction of learning lyrics and intricate moves enough to push Rachel to the back of his mind if only for a little while.

As promised, Aaron and Seth had never mentioned what happened on the journey back from McKinley and Jesse was firmly back in place as the leader of Vocal Adrenaline. If he spoke to those who had been involved that day it was a harsh criticism or an order. The younger members of VA who still practically worshipped Jesse were confused by his bi-polar mood swings. One minute he would be kindly helping a sophomore boy with a note he had missed in the last run through of Bad Romance and the next when Andrea so much as breathed in his direction he tore her a new one.

Everything came tumbling down around Vocal adrenaline three weeks before Regionals. Vocal Adrenaline had just finished a run through of their entire routine that had been a mash up of Lady Gaga's Poker Face and Alejandro when it happened.

Jesse had graciously agreed to allow Andrea her chance to shine this year, not feeling that he deserved to be a soloist with his recent behaviour. His anger and guilt at what he had done to Rachel forcing him to punish himself and those who crossed him.

After the 15 minute medley and outrageous dance routine had been done repetitively for the past two hours, they had all slowly headed off to the showers and to clean up. Jesse had been coming out of the changing rooms which where adjacent to the girls listening indulgently to some of the juniors talking about their new workout routine to make sure they where ready for Regionals.

" I've been up at half five every morning, make myself a shake and then go for a three mile run."

"You think that's bad? I'm up at 5, on the rowing machine until 5.45 then the cross trainer for an hour and then a 15 minute cool down just doing some weights for muscle definition. You aren't drinking milkshakes are you? Shelby may kill you for consuming dairy!"

" Of course not idiot, I know not to drink dairy this close to a competition. It's like an energy shake thing. My dad taught me how to make it when I wanted to start bulking up. It has like this weird power shit in it. Tastes foul but it works you know?"

" Yeah, I just stick to the traditional energy boost"

"Huh?"

"Dude have you never watched Rocky? Eggs man! Raw eggs in a glass. You just chug them!" Jesse balked at this. His face was pale and his stomach twisting in knots. Of course this was when the girls had to come out.

* * *

Jesse hadn't even seen Puck lingering in the car park as he pushed the thick broad doors open hoping to get to his car before Giselle started cackling yet again about how easy it would be to win Regionals again this year.

He hadn't seen Puck but he sure as hell felt the fist that connected with his eye. Struggling to stay upright Jesse spluttered out a "What the hell?"

"That was for New directions . Be grateful Berry doesn't like violence or I would tear you limb from fucking limb."

Jesse's stomach dropped at the mention of Rachel. " Rachel sent you here?"

Puck scoffed, " Of course not. She's gonna kill me when she finds out I came anyways… so I might as well make the rant worth it." And with that he punched him again.

Staggering away, Jesse heaved a sigh. "Shit! Can you cut that out dickhead! Regionals? Three weeks? Have you ever had to use stage makeup, seriously not cool."

" You know what else isn't cool? Attacking a defenceless girl with a bunch of fucktards. And then saying you loved her."

He felt the bile rise up his throat as the vicious words Puck dished out reverberated around his head. He would never forgive himself for allowing that to happen to Rachel in the first place. He didn't need anybody else telling him how much he had fucked up.

"I know that Puck."

"I don't think you do you piece of shit. Who do you think drove her home after that? Listening to her cry about foetuses the whole way? You fucking broke her dipshit!"

Seething now, Jesse lashed out at Puck. Christ this boy really was all muscle, he weighed a ton. Jesse's left fist struck out like leashed lightening connecting with the side of his jaw.

"I know what I've fucking done Puckerman! I fucking know. I live with it every damn second not you . You don't know what the fuck your talking about!"

Puck stared at him as he unconsciously rubbed his jaw. Jesse wondered when he had become so easy for everyone to read or if it was just a Jewish Jedi mind trick. Noah walked forward until they were toe to toe. Puck was slightly taller than Jesse and definitely more defined muscularly. Jesse stood his ground.

"I know that look, I've seen it on Finn's face for the better part of a year. Shit, even I've worn it a few times. Rachel has this thing about her, its mysterious I get it. It's sexy, and coupled with the body and the innocence it makes her a teenage boys crack pipe. Your screwed now man." He started laughing as Jesse looked at him irritably.

"What are you talking about idiot?"

"You love her."

"I know."

"But your team doesn't."

"You wouldn't dare."

"No your right, because unlike you and this band of scum I have standards. I'll be sure to tell Berry you said hey. After we kick your ass at Regionals."

And with those parting words Pucks head reared back and came back forward with a snap as he head butted the older boy with all the strength he had, laughing incredulously when Jesse still managed to stay on his feet even though he was currently groaning a series of expletives. Puck was turning to walk away when a slightly familiar voice began screeching.

* * *

"What the hell's going on here? Mr Puckerman? Jesse? What in god's name..?"

"I find that offensive as a Jew Miss, it's Yahweh or no way." Puck spoke airily with humor in his eyes as if he had not just been laying into her male lead a second ago. Jesse would have admired his acting skill if the little dickhead hadn't just brained him.

"Your religious beliefs have nothing to do with this Puckerman" Shelby bit out icily. " What I would like to know is why you are attacking one of my performers. I let this slide last time, when you displayed a barbaric sense of justice involving vandalism but I cannot condone violence of any kind.

I'm going to have to call McKinley and the police about this."

Jesse's head wiped around to stare at his mentor, his complexion paling before he turned his head towards Puck who still looked defiant and Jesse realized he really didn't care about whether or not he was expelled. He had felt he was justified in his actions and was willing to accept the consequences of his actions, ready to go down in his attempt to defend a friend. This was the kind of thing Vocal Adrenaline lacked, loyalty and the love shared between great friends because even Jesse knew as much as Puck pretended he would rather light himself on fire than be friends with Rachel Berry he was eternally grateful for her telling Finn what Quinn had not allowed him to and for giving him an actual chance to know his child even if it was just whilst it resided in Quinn's womb, Puck was a loyal creature and if Rachel hadn't earned his respect for telling Finn then she had in her silent support and non-judgemental stance in the fucked up little love triangle/quadrangle that was going on between himself, Quinn, Finn and partially Rachel. Jesse admired him for defended Rachel at all especially when he couldn't himself.

* * *

"Shelby, don't even think about it. This was just a slight disagreement between two former team mates and nothing else. There's nothing to worry about?" He watched as her eyes narrowed. Looking around he could see most of the Vocal Adrenaline members loitering about trying to hear what the hell was going on and why there was a boy attacking their leader and why the hell wasn't Jesse defending himself.

" A slight disagreement? Then I would hate to see Mr Puckerman really angry. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't call the cops right now. What the hell is going on here?"

" Just making a few things clear Ms Corcoran. Jesse just needed a taste of his own medicine." Puck sneered at him.

" Not good enough." Shelby reached into her bag.

" It isn't Pucks fault. It's mine. All me." Jesse disclosed.

"And what exactly did you do to warrant such actions Jesse, I can't wait to hear this one."

Puck sniggered gleefully. " I can't wait for you to hear it either."

Shelby turned to look at him, an eyebrow raised in interest. Rachel really did look like her mother Jesse noted absently.

" I did something. Something really bad. To… someone I cared, care, about. To Rachel. I couldn't not, I didn't want to but…I couldn't not."

Shelby looked livid. " What did you do Jesse?"

* * *

Shelby looked around those gathered. Taking in the smug and sinister looks on some faces and the confused ones on others her mind went into overdrive. Something big had obviously happened and no one had thought to let her know about it. This wasn't how things worked, and this was going to be righted. Immediately.

"Jesse?" When he remained silent she turned to the others. " Well someone obviously knows. I want answers."

Vocal Adrenaline's members stayed silent. Those who knew what had happened stayed silent wisely choosing to save their own necks. Something bigger was obviously at work here than they had first thought.

"Now." One word passed Shelby's lips. Quietly, and full of command. They were terrified. She glared at them all before carefully choosing her victim. Pointing at a girl she motioned her to come forward away from the rest of the group. Andrea. "Speak now, and so help me if you lie you will regret it.

Andrea gulped. " We went to McKinley and got revenge."

"They paid to have the tires replaced. You sang, tee-peed the choir room. That was revenge."

"We may have went back."

"And?"

"We may have egged someone."

"Who?" Shelby's face was pinched. Already knowing the answer.

" Rachel Berry, Miss."

" Why?"

" Because the girl had Jesse off his game. They all needed to be punished. Did you see what they did to our cars? Really? They are a group of freaks with that mediocre midget at the helm. Take down the leader and the rest fall easily. It was a simple decision."

Wrong answer. Shelby looked repulsed. Jesse stood there watching with ill disguised morbid fascination. The crazy little bitch had just signed her own death warrant. Jesse turned his head and nearly rolled his eyes at Puck, he looked a mixture of angry and manically gleeful that he was witness to the wrath Shelby was about to unleash.

"Noted. And who decided on this brilliant idea." Poor little Andrea, taking Shelby's silence as a positive thing she didn't really think twice before name dropping nearly every senior in the squad. Jesse thanks god for small mercies when Andrea let slip " Jesse didn't want to be involved so we told him he had to or he was out. Loyalty to your team always comes first."

Shelby stared at her a blank expression marring her features. " And what about loyalty to your family Andrea?"

" Well…I guess that trumps teamwork in some ways but the midget freak was only his girlfriend."

"That midget freak just happens to be my daughter."

* * *

Time stood still as the dark skin girl looked pale in the dusky evening. A complete paradox and yet Jesse knew no other way to describe it. All the mocking whispers and speculations had come to a halt when the words left Shelby's mouth. Then Shelby smiled and the moment was over. It was a cruel smile, enough to make even the roguish Noah Puckerman stand still and watch the wrathful actions of a mother defending her child.

" The Gaga solo Andrea? Gone. Get used to dancing in the background because now? that's all you will ever be. I'll have new number for tomorrow and none of you will be singing lead apart from Jesse. No questions or your out. And those of you stupid enough to have to repeat high school again next year? Don't bother coming back. You can hope we win Nationals this year because if I have my way? This will be the last time you ever perform." And with that she walked away.

Jesse looked around at the outraged cries and felt a hint of sympathy for the looks of pain on most of the seniors faces even Andrea and Giselle. But then as he looked upon their tears their faces we're replaced with one that haunted Jesse's every waking moment although egg yolk was streaming down her face rather than tears and he couldn't find it in himself to pity them any longer. He turned his back to them and walked away pausing only when he heard footsteps following his own.

"What do you want now Puck?"

" Just to say thanks for the show. And for finally telling the truth. Berry would have killed me for getting expelled, then have me resurrected just to attempt to get be reinstated before Regionals." Jesse smiled. Puck was right.

"It was my fault and I deserved getting punched. Maybe not the head but but at least you didn't take a cock shot."

"Dude, that shits just not cool even if you are kind of a douche."

" See you at Regionals Puck."

"Yeah, Later bitchboy!"

"Puck?" Jesse asked tentatively just as he was about to get into his jeep.

" What now fuckhead?"

" Look after her for me?"

"Whatever." Jesse smiled at the real meaning behind Pucks words. _'Obviously I'm going to look after her. Stupid question dumbass.'_

Driving home Jesse felt better than he had in ages. Sure his eye hurt like hell and his skull may well be split but at least Rachel was finally getting redemption. Even if she never knew about it kept her safe and away from more potential harm Vocal Adrenaline could have caused her then his pain was worth it.

He loved her, so of course she was worth it.

* * *

A.A.N. I _think _I've corrected all the spelling mistakes! B sure to give me a heads up if you see anything else wrong :)! I am looking for a beta also, so anybody offering to help out would be amazing right now! And if you have any kind of idea's you want incorporated drop a review!


	8. Chapter 8

**I was kind of upset with the lack of reaction to the last chapter. I understand that yes it was a filler but at the same time I expected it to be slightly more…welcomed? But oh well. Onward and upwards?…**

**AND THEN, I got a review from Maiqu and 5 from the amazing Emily Maddox. Thanks for taking the time guys you really had me ready and rearing to go!**

**I also get that yes I do make grammatical mistakes, I would love for someone to come forward and offer their expertise and be a beta, if you're interested send me an email or leave a comment in a review!**

**I don't own Glee. But if you want to buy it for me? I'd be much obliged. I'll settle for a ticket to Deathtrap… woops I've already got mine ;)

* * *

**

**Regionals**

Training for Regional's was more difficult that ever this year. With a mere few weeks to pull an entire routine out of their asses he barely had a spare moment to himself to breathe and when he did he found himself constantly harassed by thoughts of a certain pint-sized singer with an affinity to animal sweaters.

And here was the accumulation of his efforts surrounding him in the form of the Ohio Regional show choir competition. He had all he wanted didn't he? A loyal team, yeah right. A loving family…ditto.

But at least he had the music, and a scholarship out of this dump in a couple of months. Jesse St. James circled on the spot taking in the familiar building where he had annihilated Vocal Adrenalines competition almost single-handedly for the past two years. He loved being in a show choir, he loved the discipline, the control and the adrenaline rush that accompanied it along with the satisfaction that settled into your bones when you won. This was his last year, and regardless of the events of this year he intended to make the most of it. Vocal Adrenaline had done so much for him, so he owed it this much in return.

* * *

Aural Intensity were all that Jesse hated about show choir. They where gaudy, overly animated (And in their line of work? That was just ridiculous) and cheesy. They covered their weak vocals with ridiculous moves and several interlacing harmonies. They where all smoke and mirrors, to an outsider they looked impressive but he wasn't a blissfully ignorant outsider and he thought he was going to loose his eye sight if he had to watch that shit any longer.

His agitation was not eased knowing they were doing a medley of Josh Groban and Olivia Newton John. The blatant brown nosing repulsed him and the cowardice of sticking with an easy option had his upper lip curling into a sneer. His bad mood had nothing whatsoever to do with that gigantic freak standing uncomfortably close to Rachel when he spied them getting off their coach. Nothing to do with that at all.

* * *

New Directions on the other hand, gave Vocal Adrenaline some reason for uncertainty about whether or not they would retain the title of Regional Ohio show choir champions. Sure Finn couldn't really sing for shit, but Rachel could more than carry him in their solo. It was somewhat pleasing to Jesse while he watched them from the back of the auditorium to see Rachel overpower Finn vocally throughout the song, he never had any problems in keeping up with her unlike Finn who looked like he struggled getting dressed correctly in the morning most days, it was comforting to Jesse that even if he couldn't have Rachel for himself at least Finn would never be fully capable of handling such a demanding woman or relationship either.

The Journey medley was brave. The routine lacked the discipline of Vocal Adrenalines performances but it still had a lot of real emotion and a general love for singing. The dancing was mediocre, but the actual arrangements couldn't have suited New Directions more, Mr Shue had managed to arrange the song to each members strengths and their love for the songs and for glee showed in all their faces. The key thing though was the connection they forged with their audience from the outset. Jesse knew that the audience was like another member of the team when they supported you but they could be your worst nightmare if they felt you put even a foot out of place and thankfully New Directions hadn't treaded on anybodies toes quite yet though Jesse couldn't for the life of him understand why the crazy lady in the tracksuit was a judge…wasn't she a dinner lady or something at McKinley?

Although he usually tried not to get distracted before Vocal Adrenaline performed he couldn't not allow himself to watch this performance. This could be the last chance he got to see New Directions (Rachel) perform. At least live, he had found himself spending an unhealthy amount of time on her Myspace page just watching her sing and remembering the little things they did together when rival glee clubs and interfering mothers weren't in the way. He was going to California in a couple of months and he might not get the chance to see Rachel for a long time, he simply had to watch her.

Jesse noted the vulnerability in her voice as she sang 'Faithfully' and a little bit of his heart broke watching her perform the song with Finn. Her moves were confident and professional and her voice was never flat nor sharp. All in all her performance unlike most of her team mates was pitch perfect, perfect in general, kind of like her…If he hadn't been in love with her already he most certainly would have been just in watching her perform. Her voice was hypnotic in its perfection and he couldn't prevent himself from having little flash backs of how perfect the body she was hiding under the dress was too. Watching her up there having fun with her friends made him ache for the friendship and fun completely random situations that often came hand in hand with being in a relationship with Rachel.

Overall, he just missed all of her. His eyes narrowed as their number came to a close and the tall freak wrapped himself around Rachel as the audience gave them a standing ovation. Jesse truly was happy that Rachel was receiving such a positive reaction at such a tender age and goodness knows she needed the confidence boost, sure she might seem uber confident to the untrained eye but he knew the harsh treatment by her peers was slowly chipping away at her, but he could do without the inappropriate handsiness of one Finn Hudson.

* * *

Standing on stage performing was like a drug Jesse surmised as he belted out yet another queen classic. The rush of adrenaline through his veins gave him a feeling that was completely indescribable and matched by no other experience…except one he can think of but right now she wasn't/shouldn't be his top priority. Looking out at the audience as they all watched and cheered in awe of him, he smiled in defiance of all who had ever told him he couldn't make it, that he was worthless. Everyone he had ever loved had made him feel this way at one time or another although it was not always intentional on their behalf. His parents had always told him that the arts were stupid subjects to get tangled into, they led you no where in life but a dead end job and a crack den in alphabet city. Shelby had made him feel worthless without even meaning too, as soon as she started obsessing about Rachel she had forgotten all about the almost son Jesse had been to her and the pain associated with being left behind and replaced for a better model hurt even worse. His friends in even forcing him to act that way to Rachel in the first place, that had been the first time he had been truly angry and ashamed with his friends. And Rachel, whose eyes where connected with his even as he thinks this whilst simultaneously singing "So you think you can love and leave me to die?", dear sweet Rachel who had become his entire world just by blinking in his direction. She had honestly become his Achilles heel, the girl had him in her hand and had the power to break him, the power to look at him with a glint in her eye and just know what he's thinking or feeling.

Breaking eye contact with her he moved to yank Kimberly towards him as he stepped into place for the final part of Vocal Adrenaline's Bohemian Rhapsody routine. By the time he glanced back she was gone.

Jesse had left the greenroom were Vocal Adrenaline had been warming down early to head back to the dressing room and talk to Shelby. It was either talk to Shelby or strangle Giselle with his suspenders before her cackling got the best of him. Opening the door to Vocal Adrenalines dressing room he heard the familiar musical tone of Rachel talking to a slightly deeper huskier version of her voice, Shelby.

"Come teach at McKinley."

"Excuse me?" Jesse felt as surprised as Shelby sounded.

"You and Mr Shuester could be co-director's. We'd be unstoppable." Rachel sounded so pleading that Jesse found himself wishing Shelby would agree just for the sake of Rachel's happiness. His train of thought left him as Rachel continued. "There's so much you can teach me. So much only you can teach me." She finished quietly.

"Oh Rachel I can't do this anymore. I'm tired of coaching glee club. I want a life. It took meeting you to realize all this stuff that I missed out on. I need some balance you know, I need a house and a garden and a dog, family. I missed out on my chance with you and it kills me and I can't let that happen again."

Jesse could honestly say he had never before felt so angry with Shelby in his life. The woman just didn't realize what she was giving up on at all, she had a great daughter and yet again she was looking for a replacement. Shelby had ruthlessly used him to get closer to Rachel in the first place and now all his endeavours and his sacrifices where for nothing. The continuous pain Rachel was suffering from and already suffered in reaction to Shelby's mission was all for nothing. He tried to move away from the door as he heard Rachel coming closer, hearing them talk again he was just about to round the corner.

"Jesse?" He inhaled and put on his show face as he turned to face the person speaking.

"Rachel."

"What are you doing here? Where you just listening to what Shelby and I where talking about?" She seemed righteously angry. Jesse almost smiled, you can take a horse to water but you can't make it drink and apparently the same could be said for Rachel's dramatic nature.

"I was coming to get away from everyone. I didn't realize you where in there, I tried not to listen hence why I was in the midst of walking away."

"Your good at that aren't you? Walking away I mean." She sniped, hurt showing in her eyes.

"I know your just looking for a fight Rachel, I'm not going to give you one." Jesse sighed as he moved towards her through the empty corridor, his heart beating faster with every step. Up close he could see her eyelid twitching slightly, a nervous reaction she often had when she was trying not to cry. She looked so small and sad, and Jesse had to actively prevent himself from reaching out to touch her or comfort her. He had done enough as it was. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not with you" she ground out harshly and Jesse frowned taking a backwards step at the tone and the hurt that accompanied the words. Rachel's features softened as she walked towards him and her hand gently grasped his bicep forcing Jesse to look her in the eye. " I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I'm not ready to talk about it at all. And I think it goes double because you already know and I feel enough of a fool as it is. I'm not ready to talk about it and I think I need to rationalize everything first you know?"

Basking in her touch his hand raised up to cover hers on his arm. "Why are you being so nice to me Rach? I haven't even said I'm sorry yet, but I am. So sorry. I don't know why you haven't tried to kill me yet." He whispered and heard her gasping inhalation at his pet name for her. It seemed she wasn't totally unaffected by his presence.

"Because I know you better than you know yourself. You looked so heartbroken, when you did it. With me, with yourself and with your friends. I figured you've beaten yourself up enough don't you? You know I'm a pacifist and firmly believe that forgiveness is key to being happy in life. Are you trying to make a hypocrite out of me St. James?" He looked up at her face to see a small teasing smile.

"You were really good today Rachel, like out of this world crazily good."

"I know" His eyes watched her solemn face after that egotistical proclamation and soon they both started sniggering. "You weren't so bad yourself."

"I know." Jesse replied just as solemnly.

He pulled her in for a hug and held on tightly intent on burning this conversation into his mind and the feel of her body against his into his memory for as long as he lives. Jesse notes how perfectly she fits against him, like a puzzle piece he had been searching for for the past 18 years. Pressing a kiss into her hair he whispered out a "Good luck Rach."

Still in his embrace he feels Rachel settle her chin on his shoulder. " Finn told me he loved me."

"I guessed as much. He isn't known for his patience nor his intelligence."

"Jesse!" she reprimanded immediately but there was no force behind it.

"I'm not going to say anything more on the matter Rachel. Well… except that he's a douche bag. And can't sing."

He swears he can hear a slight giggle before her fingers disentangle themselves from his shirt and she moves to step back pressing a soft kiss to his cheek bone. "Good luck to you to Jesse."

And with that Rachel walked away but unlike previous encounters both she and Jesse had slight grins on their faces and grins to match.

* * *

His latest win was dampened slightly as he watched New Directions almost stumble of stage in their grief. He could understand why they had won but New directions at least deserved second place. Shelby had been worryingly quiet for the past few hours and he was starting to freak out. Pushing the thought quickly out of his head as he was hoisted onto the shoulders of his team-mates Jesse smiled feverishly as he went to celebrate his victory with his friends.

After the events of today he could use a good party to loosen up. And after the way things were looking up between him and Rachel in the corridor today he knew just who he might invite.

* * *

**A/A/N Hmmmmm review! Seriously considering heading over to AU territory or sticking to the plot... your thoughts would be appreciated?**


	9. Chapter 9

**Thanks for all the review! It's been a while, but I think the sheer lack of St. Berry had be unenthused for tackling a chapter, but the prospect of an inevitable return from our infamous anti-hero has me excited to watch the second half of season 2! Reviews equal love! And a quicker update! And for all those that think AU is the way to go…well maybe you're right ;)!**

**I don't own glee, just a picture of myself and Jonathan Groff along with his autograph!

* * *

**

**Chapter 9  
**

Staring at his cell phone Jesse weighed the pros and cons of asking his ex-girlfriend to the VA celebration party. So far his list was looking like this; pro- he'd get to spend and evening with Rachel, with no secrets between them and maybe find away to change their relationship status from not being in one to firmly being in one. Preferably with each other. Con- Well Giselle and Andrea will be there, and they're bitches and Jesse just couldn't be sure if they'd be nice out of sheer fear of just whom Rachel's mother was or the horrendous bitches they were most of the time. The fear that Rachel might think this was him pointing out that Vocal Adrenaline were (at least in the judges eyes) superior to New Directions.

Apparently though, his body and his mind were not working in sync because before Jesse could procrastinate further his fingers had moved swiftly across the keys dialling a certain Jewish starlets phone number. She picked up after 3 rings sounding decidedly upset.

"Hello?"

"Hi."

"Jesse? What's wrong? Shouldn't you be celebrating?"

"That's why I was ringing…I wa-, well. Well, I wanted to know if you wanted to come to a party tonight, with me." Jesse churned out hoping he was imagining the nervous tone in his voice.

"I don't know if that's such a good idea Jesse." Rachel murmured. A slight grin found it's way onto Jesse's face, he knew this tone. It was Rachel's contemplative tone, the one she uses when she needs just a little persuasion.

" Please Rachel, I know today has sucked for you. I have to show my face at the party, let me cheer you up and if you aren't having fun we can leave immediately, I promise. I want to see you Rach." Jesse crooned.

"I suppose, I don't really feel like being alone tonight."

" Let me be here for you Rachel, I've caused so much of this damage. I just want to try and make it better."

"I'm not an obligation Jesse, if that's how you see me then don't bother coming for me!" Rachel basically snarled down the phone. Jesse groaned and pushed his unruly curls out of his eyes in a frustrated manners.

"I didn't mean it like that, my phrasing wasn't exactly eloquent there. You aren't an obligation Rachel. You never were, it's a pleasure for me to spend time with you and I'm really glad you didn't kick me out of your life as soon as I screwed up. I'm not trying to make you feel better just because I feel bad, I want to make you feel better because I care about you and it's my job as your boyfriend to make sure you smile."

"Good rebuttal. But you forget one crucial thing St. James. I'm not your girlfriend anymore."

"For now. I'll pick you up around 9."

"That sounds acceptable, let yourself into the house. It'll be a nice surprise for Dad and Daddy to see you."

"Really? I thought they'd hate me after hearing about what happened."

The silence on the other end of the phone was deafening before Rachel mumbled quietly, " I never told them we broke up."

"Oh!"

"Err…yeah. I felt it wasn't important for then to know." Jesse inhaled sharply hurt spreading through him at the abrupt statement. "I guess I hoped that if I didn't tell them that we weren't really broken up. It's embarrassing I know but -"

Jesse felt better immediately. "Rachel, stop, breathe. Your right. We weren't broken up. We were just taking a sabbatical sue to my own idiocy."

Rachel giggled.

"I know we still need to talk about all this, but just for tonight how about we forget about the drama and just enjoy our time together?"

"But who would we be without our drama?"

"True, but for tonight how about I be Jesse, the guy who's nuts about you. The guy who would never hurt you." He smiled at the memory that accompanied his words.

"And I'll be Rachel the?"

" Rachel the beautiful and talented drama queen."

" I'll see you at 9."

"I'll be there baby."

* * *

Cautiously pushing the front door of the Berry house open Jesse was relieved to see the Berry men who greeted him warmly as usual. Mr and Mr Berry had been nothing but kind to Jesse even since he had met them, sure Daddy Berry had threatened to grab his shot gun and use it on his one night but that was understandable. Daddy Berry and his smaller counterpart had come home early from their usual Thursday date night to find Jesse with his hand under Rachel's skirt as she writhed above him in pleasure, that feeling wasn't shared by her father apparently. Shaking his head furiously to remove the delicious images Jesse sighed, that was water under the bridge now.

Giving the Mr Berries a final jaunty wave Jesse almost leapt up the stairs to Rachel's room, Jesse knocked briefly before entering.

"I'm supposed to say 'Yes Jesse, by all means come in' before you burst through the door you know that don't you Jesse?" Rachel commented never turning to look at him but rather staying firmly seated at her vanity mirror mascara wand in hand.

"I'd rather beg for forgiveness than ask you permission Rachel, you know that."

"Indeed. I'll be finished in a second!" Jesse moved towards her. Leaning down behind her he pressed a kiss to her bare neck.

"Take all the time you want. You look beautiful Miss Berry."

Rachel's eyes flickered up to meet Jesse's which were staring at her in revere in the mirror, they regarded each other for a time simply content to just be. Lowering the mascara wand she turned and pressed a kiss of her own to the edge of his jaw and whispered a "Hi" into the hollow of his neck.

"Hello gorgeous." Jesse returned, and Rachel beamed at the Barbra reference.

* * *

Half an hour later Jesse and Rachel walked confidently into an impressively sized house on the other side of town where Vocal Adrenaline had decided to host their celebration party. A junior member of the teams' parent's were holidaying in Alcudia and had graciously offered her home for the party, well Giselle had offered the girl's house for the party, the junior (Alison? Alex?) hadn't really had much of a choice. Removing Rachel's jacket and his own Jesse had shoved them unceremoniously into a random closet before securing his arm around her waist and nuzzling his nose into her hair and sighing at the fruity scent that was pure Rachel than filled his nostrils. Jesse smirked into Rachel's hair when he felt her hand move around him to settle into the pocket of his jeans and gently cup a buttock.

"Minx." he whispered into her hair.

Rachel smiled up at him before reaching forward to kiss his mouth firmly. " I know right?" she smirked before removing herself from him and stepping a few steps away. "Now are you going to get me a drink or do I really have to do everything?"

Jesse stared at the petite girl in front off him who was wrapped in a tight fitting skirt with a starched white boyfriend shirt tucked almost absentmindedly into it ( although Jesse knew this careless look had taken her a good ten minutes to perfect as she yanked at different pieces of the shirt). Jesse's wandering eyes took in the smooth tan expanse of leg that was exposed to his view and a cute yet sexy pair of heeled ankle boots. Rachel had put a lot of effort in for this party and she looked simply ravishing thought Jesse couldn't be sure that Rachel made the effort for him or for the benefit of the Vocal Adrenaline members, he felt pleased that she wanted to look good yet unsettled for perhaps her reasoning, Jesse honestly thought Rachel could walk about in a trash bag and look gorgeous but he dared not make a comment and incur her wrath so early on in the night. "What exactly did your last slave die off?"

"I don't take too kindly to the slave jokes Jesse, the people of my father's were both slaves! " She replied indignantly but there was an amused glint in her eyes, "But to answer your question…well your still here aren't you?"

Jesse threw his head back and laughed. "Little smart ass. Let's get you something to drink."

They quietly argued over the way to the kitchen over whom should be allowed to drink, Jesse believing Rachel needed a breather and a few of the lesser drinkers might enable her to get over the glum feeling of loosing Regionals and Rachel feeling that Jesse could have a couple of beers to celebrate with his team mates. As with most arguments, Rachel eventually won and Jesse nursed a wounded ego and a cool bottle of Bud while his (ex?)girlfriend smiled triumphantly clasping her bottle of water.

Finding an empty window seat in what appeared to be the family room Jesse and Rachel made their way through the pulsing party. Seating Rachel on the chair Jesse hastened to place himself between her slightly spread legs and smiled down at her fondly when one of her heeled feet traced random designs on the side of his calve unconsciously.

While Rachel chatted animatedly Jesse took the time to observe their surroundings. A lot of the younger members had been staring at the two of them, many of them recognising Rachel as the competition at Regionals but seeming too intimidated to dare say anything. Good.

"Are you having fun?" he asked her suddenly, cutting off her rant about Aural Intensity and the coincidence that they just happened to pick 2 songs sung by the judges themselves. Jesse had shrugged, he was used to the competition using all the weapons in their arsenal to try and take down Vocal Adrenaline. He found it ironic that a tiny show choir with barely 12 members had almost managed to single-handedly take them down and surely would have if Jesse had chosen to stay with them.

Rachel looked at him through slightly hooded eyes as if she was choosing her words very carefully. "Truthfully, I feel rather uncomfortable behind 'enemy lines', and don't think I don't miss the stares of some people" she glared at them pointedly and quite a few heads turned abruptly the other direction causing Jesse to stifle a laugh into her temple. " But I always have fun with you Jesse."

"Something's bothering you." He stated bluntly taking a long pull of his beer.

"I know. But we can talk about it tomorrow okay. We'll have fun tonight okay?"

"Deal."

"So, Jesse, the boy who's crazy about me and would never hurt me. Would you like to dance?" she challenged, eyebrow raised and lips tilted into a sexy little smirk.

" Why Rachel that sounds like a very good idea." he hauled her up and pressed himself fully against her. Rachel gasped before pressing her self firmly against him to. Jesse stifled a shiver at the feel of her soft curves against his toned body. Moving towards the makeshift dance floor Jesse and Rachel happily bumped and grinded against each other content in their own little sexually loaded bubble.

A quiet "Hi" successfully popped their little bubble and Jesse possessively and protectively put his arm around Rachel before turning to see just whom exactly was invading their personal space, Aaron and Seth. He looked at them inquiringly, "What do you want?"

Rachel huffed indignantly and elbowed him swiftly in the ribs causing Jesse to nearly drop his beer and for the two tall boys to snigger slightly at their whipped leader. "Jesse! That isn't really a civil way to great people is it?" She moved forwards slightly and looked at the two boys gutting her hand out in front of her. " Hi I'm Rachel Berry."

"It's nice to meet you Rachel. I'm Aaron, this is Conrad."

"Oh I recognise you. It's hard to forget the faces of perfect strangers who thought it was okay to be part of a group whom attack a woman by herself." Jesse's stomach dropped slightly but the rhythmical thumb caressing his arm let Jesse know that Rachel's anger didn't lie with him. Gauging his friends reactions he found them both looking thoroughly shocked at the set of nads Miss Berry had and also ashamed and chastised for their reputable behaviour.

Conrad mumbled out a sincere sounding apology and Rachel glanced at them speculatively before a smile stretched across her features. Her hand moved forward again. "Hi, I'm Rachel Berry, the uncivilised barbarian who lacks manners to my right's girlfriend. I don't believe we've met."

Both boys stared at her in amazement and Conrad gently grasped her hand as if half expecting her to go bat shit crazy and attack him, hell no wonder. Even Jesse thought attack might be on her cards. Aaron's eyes flickered to Jesse's and he nodded slightly with realization on his features.

So finally, someone got it. Aaron seemed to at least begin to grasp just why Jesse was willing to sacrifice just about everything to do whatever Rachel wanted him to. She was amazing, Rachel had a very serious reason to never want to talk to any of Jesse's friends or even Jesse himself, they had disrespected her greatly, basically physically attacked her, openly mocked her lifestyle choices and judged her without ever knowing her yet here she was smiling and being kind to them, she truly was like no one else they had ever met.

* * *

Of course, fate never liked to just leave Jesse and Rachel in peace for an extended period of time. He had been grinning at Rachel and Aaron dancing goofily when he felt fingers thread through his curls. He stiffened and turned abruptly "What the hell?"

Giselle was grinning in a way which Jesse thought was supposed to be alluring and sexy. "Hi Jesse, how about we celebrate together. Like old times…" her hand wandered down his chest and Jesse sighed in relief when a small hand wrapped around Giselle's and calmly removed it from his person.

"I do wish you would refrain from touching things that don't belong to you." Rachel sighed resignedly. Giselle was shocked to say the least to see Rachel Berry here, her features soon rearranged themselves into a sneer.

"You? Christ almighty you're like a parasite. I thought I was finally rid of you when you and that pathetic club faded back into obscurity after that display today."

Rachel's eyebrow raised in interest. "Really? That's funny, I think if anyone should be preparing themselves for fading back into obscurity it should be you and your sub-par vocals and mediocre dancing. Your team mates may have missed it today but don't think I missed the fact that you stumbled twice in the first verse alone and where half a beat out the entire third section of your song." Rachel turned away from the affronted girl and turned to Jesse, " By the way did I say…Queen Jesse? Really?"

Snaking his arm around her waist he rolled his eyes. "Pfffft. Queen is timeless and you know it Rach."

She reached up to chuck at his chin. " You big walking cliché." she petted at his curls and Jesse batted at her hands with an indignant look upon his face.

"Whatever, like doing a Journey medley was original." He snarked good-naturedly. Rachel scowled.

"Well I wanted them to do a Barbra medle-" she was rudely interrupted by Giselle whom obviously didn't take kindly to being ignored.

"Streisand? Like your mommy Berry?" Giselle spat.

Rachel paled slightly, "Back off Giselle, surely there's some guy here who's drunk enough to not give a shit that you're a complete bitch."

Giselle smiled brightly. "You know my mom was telling me the weirdest thing today. You know how she's works at Lima Memorial? A midwife to be exact, she thought it was very strange that my glee coach was in talking with a blonde teenager and her mohawked boyfriend who had only had a baby. She heard the funniest think in the nurses station."

Jesse felt sick to his stomach. Shelby really couldn't be that stupid, could she? He glanced at Rachel whose features looked gaunt now underneath her pale pallor. "Well then, out with it. You obviously have a reason for saying all this."

"They were saying about how Miss Corcoran was a god-send for that little bastard child. For doing a good and kind thing and adopting her." Giselle stopped for effect. " So how does it feel smurf to know that literally no one wants you, neither your talent nor you as a person?"

Rachel looked at Giselle contemplatively. " You really are delusional aren't you? Enjoy high school because believe me these are your glory days. I may have lost Regionals this year but I didn't loose to you. I lost to a boy who has been in the business longer than me, not necessarily more talent ( sorry baby but you know its true) than me, but someone who understands the competition and has the experience and was surrounded by people who also where. New Directions may have been beaten today but I am completely at ease in stating that Vocal Adrenaline out performed us. We'll see how good you are without your star. As for my not being wanted look at yourself. My mother and I may not have a relationship but my fathers are the best men I know who love me unconditionally, I have 11 friends in McKinley who I would do anything for at a seconds notice and know that if the push came to shove they would all do the same for me. And then I have Jesse. If anyone here is to be pitied it's you Gazelle."

"Giselle." she corrected automatically, still shocked at the verbal beat down she had just taken.

"My mistake. Jesse, can we leave now? I'm not really in the mood for a party anymore." Jesse nodded and moved to get their coats. Coming back he could see Rachel with her showface plastered on and hurried towards her both of them murmuring goodbyes to his friends. Climbing into his Jeep, he allowed Rachel to drive knowing driving always calmed her down and would give her time to rationalize everything going through her mind.

"I'm sorry." Jesse whispered. He had done nothing but bring unnecessary anguish into her life. Pulling up to the traffic lights Rachel reached over the gear-stick and squeezed his hand.

"This isn't your fault Jesse, it isn't even my own. Don't beat yourself up about it."

* * *

Quietly unlocked her front door Rachel and Jesse moved silently through the house and Jesse sat himself upon her bed and watched her as she mechanically began getting ready for bed. Rachel froze and burst into tears when her eyes came upon the tape box signed 'from mother to daughter'. Jesse gently picked her up and cradled her to him as he climbed back up onto her bed, one hand cradling her face as the other rubbed soothing circles onto her back.

"I was never enough for her Jesse. It hurts so much, why am I not good enough for her?"

Jesse sighed as he set his chin atop her hair. "I won't pretend to understand Shelby's reasoning Rach, You are more than enough for her, I think she does love you but she's scared and doesn't know how. You're good enough for her, you are too good for her. You're to good for everyone in this shitty bumfuck town." Rachel released a watery giggle as she nuzzled closer to him.

Jesse held her through the rest of the night allowing her to soak up his shirt with her tears as he comforted her as only he knew how, he rocked her as she shed tears for the mother she never had and felt now she never would, for Quinn and for Puck and their lose too, for New Directions, for him. He sung softly to her as she woke from bad dreams and lured her back to sleep with lullabies.

As Jesse's eyes began to close of their own accord he couldn't help but think that now that Act 1 was in it's dying moments, he dreaded the potential for disaster that the second Act would surely bring.


	10. Chapter 10

**I don't own glee. Read Enjoy and review. Simply a fluffy little filler before the drama goes up a notch yet again!

* * *

**

It's not like the movies…

Jesse sighed contentedly as he pressed his face further into the mass of thick hair in his mission to escape the sunlight that was trying its best to rouse him from his slumber. Sniffing lightly he allowed a lazy smile to stretch across his face as a waft of pomegranate scented shampoo managed to both rouse and arouse him. Determinedly he nuzzled his face into her neck planting sloppy kisses interspersed with gentle nibbles of her perfect olive skin as his hands caressed and ticked her toned stomach.

Hearing a most unladylike grunt at the attention Jesse tried not to laugh out loud as Rachel tried her best to remove herself from his roving hands. Mumbling childishly " No Jesse, sleep time." and snuggling further into her comforter Jesse couldn't prevent the laughter from leaving his lips. He stroked her back gently as he debated the pros and cons of waking her before he decided that if he couldn't sleep then neither should she. Sure, it was selfish but he knew if the shoe was on the other foot figuratively an impatient Rachel would waste no time in waking him, she was kind of spiteful like that he thought amusedly.

Deciding that a loving approach wasn't going to do any good he raised his body until he was hovering above her beneath the blanket and lowered the top half of his body until it gently rested over her…then he allowed his legs to give out. Hearing Rachel whine windedly Jesse snuggled into her back. "Mmm, I'm so comfortable and warm." He said obnoxiously.

"You're a jackass Jesse." Rachel moaned from her position squashed underneath her gargantuan sized, in comparison to her, boyfriend.

"Good morning to you too honey."

"Bite me." Jesse wasted no time in reached over and biting down on her shoulder.

"OW! So help me Yahweh, If you've given me some disease and I never seen Broadway I will haunt you Jesse. Forever."

Jesse smirked as he rolled off her inspecting his mark. Pressing a light kiss to it, "You with me forever? That doesn't sound to bad."

Rachel lifted her head and swiftly swept her hair out of her face in a familiar movement to get a good look at him. Seeing his face completely serious she smiled softly. "No it doesn't."

Reaching over to kiss him Rachel sighed contentedly into his mouth. "Nice morning breath hot stuff." she sniggered as she moved to get out of bed. Jesse wrapped a muscled arm around her waist and literally pulled her back to him.

"I know right?" He took the time to purposely breath on her and sniggered when her nose wrinkled. "Hey!Your's isn't to hot either! And did I say you could leave bed yet?"

Rachel raised a brow "Oh my apologies master, I didn't realise I needed permission." she claimed, full of sarcasm.

Jesse regally shrugged his shoulders. "Okay then, I'll let you away with it this time."

He was met with a pillow being viciously thrown in his face. Looking past it he watched as Rachel in all her tank top and panties glory strutted into her en suite bathroom but not after smirking back at him.

Jesse knew they had things to talk about but for now they would enjoy the little moments before reality set back in.

* * *

Jesse stretched and sauntered into the bathroom at an easy pace, smirking as Rachel's eyes lingered on his hand which was currently scratching at his chest. He let his hand go lower and lower down his abdomen and his smirk stretched as Rachel's eyes followed yet again in a hypnotised fashion before she snapped out of it and glared at him without malice. He reached around her to grab the toothbrush he kept at her house in case he stayed over.

As they brushed their teeth both couldn't help but realise just how much like an old married couple they behaved on occasion as they moved around in routine. Jesse couldn't help but think how lucky he was to have Rachel back in his arms, he could have lost her so easily after he fucked up time and time again yet she continued to forgive him. He swore to himself that he would never give her a cause for which he might have to plead forgiveness ever again. Jesse was sick of being that bad guy.

Rachel smiled fondly up at Jesse as he brushed his teeth vigorously. She knew the next few weeks and months weren't going to be pretty. She was going to have to deal with not only the return of her mother but her subsequent dismissal, loosing Regionals and now the glee club, facing her friends and telling them that she had indeed let Jesse back into her life. They would be angry but hopefully they would get over it and soon, or else they truly weren't her friends. And then there was Jesse, a major part of her wished that everyday could start like this, all sunshine and roses. But she knew they would face trials, not so much her parents but her friends and Vocal Adrenaline would be sure to try and cause havoc. He would be going away to college in a few months too. Rachel knew that they had all this to worry about and yet as she watched the curly haired miva rinse and spit his mouthwash she couldn't help but think that things just might be okay as long as she could seek solace in his arms.

* * *

They continued their morning in the same fashion as they did in bed, sarcasm-full sentences, innocent and not so innocent touches. As afternoon rolled in they decided to get dressed and head out in search of food. Dressed in what could only be deemed as lazy-day clothing Jesse couldn't help but admire the curve of Rachel's ass in her skin tight yoga pants as he helped her get into his Jeep. Patting her ass he squawked in mock outrage as she retaliated by yanking on the strings off his hoodie sharply causing the hood to close on him and render him both sightless and breathless.

Great.

Making their way into the local Walmart. They absentmindedly held hands as they strolled down the aisles looking for something to appease their hunger.

"What are you in the mood for?" Jesse wondered.

"Hmm, I'm thinking vegetable soup. Home made, non of that processed junk. So I'm going to grab one of those packet's, you know with the vegetables all ready? And some noodles. Remind me to get noodles."

"Your wish is my command." Rachel smiled up at him and reached up on her tiptoes to peck his lips.

"You got that right."

They were ambling down the aisles when Rachel raced forward to get the noodles stretching to reach them, Jesse smothered a laugh as he moved up behind her and grabbed the packet. She turned in his arms as he caressed her hips and whispered a "Thanks." He nodded at her when they heard a distinct

"_Yo no lo creo. Si eres de verdad_?" Their heads snapped to the left to see one fuming Santana Lopez and a slightly confused looking Brittany glaring at Jesse. "What the hell do you think you're doing, get your disgusting greasy paws off my Yentil."

" Mr Schues son?" Brittany waved at Jesse in delight and he couldn't help but smile back at the sweet girl.

"Don't leer at her dickhead!"

"Santana that really is the most offensive and atrocious nickname you choose to refer to me by." Santana stopped glaring at Jesse to look at Rachel with interest.

"Oh my god. You're back together with him? Did you even break up with him? He cracked eggs on your head you deranged little hobbit and you're letting him back in your pants?" Jesse fumed at the name calling yet he knew Santana didn't mean anything by it.

Rachel sighed with impatience. "Yes, yes Santana. Jesse and I are back together."

Jesse admired her blunt honesty. She truly was the bravest creature he knew.

"He threw eggs at you Rachel, he doesn't care about you!"

"He threw eggs at me once Santana. Exactly how many times did you throw slushies in my face or tell other people too hmm?" Rachel returned. Santana paled.

"Santana threw slushies at you all the time Rachel! Did you forget or something Rachel? Why are you asking such a silly question?" Brittany giggled innocently.

"Bebe se calma." Santana hushed at Brittany as she grasped her hand. " I guess you're right. Do the rest of glee clu-… does everyone else know?" Rachel's throat tightened at the deliberate change of glee club, they weren't a glee club anymore, no diva-offs, no practises or goofing off, no ridiculous routines or costumes. It really was all over.

"No, we only decided to try again yesterday." Rachel smiled up at Jesse who was rubbing her back in an attempt to sooth the tension he had noticed come upon her at Santana's slip of the tongue. He smiled back as his free hand caressed the side of her face. The moment was ruined by Brittany's loud "Aww, aren't they cute San? He touches her like you touch me!" Rachel wasn't to surprised when Santana squeezed Brittany's fingers gently with an almost serene smile . "Si mi amor, la forma en que se tocan."

Santana turned to observe the two in front of her, they were more than mere teenage boyfriend and girlfriend, 'los amantes' was the term which filtered through her mind, her eyes flickered to Brittany involuntarily.

"Dios, you are even more obnoxiously loved up than you were before!" She sneered with a distinct lack of malice.

"It was pleasant as always Satan." Jesse snarked back.

"Watch it. Hurt heragain and next time you hurt her it won't be Puckerman going after you. I'll have your balls mounted on my fireplace."

Jesse glared at her defiantly and Rachel turned an inquiring eye to him. "Noah went after you? What?"

"It doesn't matter baby. We're cool now."

"We are most definitely not cool!"

"Rach baby. We can talk about this somewhere a little more private, like after we get back to yours and have this delicious soup that your gonna make."

"Don't try and butter me up Jesse, I'm vegan for a reason. Your right we'll talk about this. Santana I know this is a lot to ask but would you mind keeping this to yourself and Brittany for the meantime until we talk and decided where we are going with this?"

"That's fine for now hobbit, but I'm not gonna lie and say I'm okay with this straight away. Maybe not on the same level as what he did with you, but he betrayed us and some of us don't look kindly on traitors."

" Jesse isn't a traitor Santana, don't judge something when you can't even begin to comprehend the situation!" Rachel snapped with bite. She understood that the others might be angry with him but she sure as heck wasn't going to allow them to bad mouth him especially when she had the power to stop it.

"Si, Si. So you tell me. Come on Brittany, we'll leave the lovebirds to finish doing what they were doing." Santana stalked away before stopping and turning round to stare at Jesse who met her glare unflinchingly. "Hurt her again asshole and you won't like the consequences at all. We may not be the best of friends, but we're familia now. And that means something. " And as quickly as she came Santana left dragging a waving Brittany behind her.

Jesse and Rachel watched them leave before heading to the counter to pay for their items and climbing into Jesse's Jeep to begin the trek back home to Rachel's. When Jesse stopped at a red light Rachel reached across the car and grasped his thigh, Jesse turned to face her with interest. Looking into his eyes seriously. "Someday, we're going to be able to go about our business without seeing someone or drama following us about."

Jesse leaned in quickly and kissed Rachel. When she moaned into the kiss and opened her mouth further to him Jesse stroked her tongue with his own before pulling back and running it lightly across her teeth causing her to smile. Pulling back he looked into her eyes with equal solemnity .

"And just what fun would that be?"


	11. Chapter 11

**Thank you for all the kind reviews! I love you guys… and seriously? HE'S COMING BACK! Excited much?**

**I don't own glee, just my vivid imagination.**

* * *

Chapter 11 - Rumour has it

After a turbulent weekend spent in their little bubble of love both Jesse and Rachel realized that sooner rather than later the other shoe was going to drop.

Gravity deems it so right?

After loosing at Regional's, Rachel hadn't seen any of the other glee-clubbers apart from Santana and Brittany during their entertaining trip to Wal-Mart. Monday had started on a good note with a sweet text from Jesse: 'We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the _stars.' _

Smiling to herself as her fingers tightened around her phone within her pocket Rachel never had the chance to see the slushies that had came out of nowhere and drenched her literally from head to toe while people gathered around to laugh.

Rachel inhaled deeply and thought of Jesse and being the bigger person while she calmly wiped the gunk off of her face. She hadn't expected for Santana to yet again come to her rescue, yet as she blinked again to make sure she was hallucinating she realised that Santana was indeed standing in front of her cussing the brave few who had stayed behind in Spanish. Looking down at the hand that had wrapped itself delicately around her wrist Rachel's eye's followed the limb up to it's owners face and found Brittany's feline eyes gazing upon her kindly.

"You're all wet." Brittany observed. Rachel smiled ruefully.

"Yes Brittany, I am." Brittany's head tilted slightly and she bit her lip as if she was assessing the situation and how to fix it. Brittany startled Rachel when she grabbed her bag from the floor from were she had dropped it in shock and marched forward. Brittany, realizing Rachel wasn't following her turned and looked at her like she was an idiot.

''Well? Come on!''

Rachel followed perturbed.

* * *

Inside the bathroom, she soon found herself being manhandled by Brittany who was unbuttoning her blouse before she could protest. Rachel stood in the middle of the bathroom in her skirt and bra watching Brittany buzz about. She soon found herself being lead by the tall blonde over too a near by sink and being pushed into a stool.

"Brittany?"

"Yeah?"

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to wash you're hair silly. But Santana has my gym bag and that has my shampoo, the soap in here leaves you're hair all hard and crispy, like straw!"

"Oh, thanks. But…But why are you doing this?"

"That's an easy one! Because you're our friend. Santana says we're familia, that's friends right?"

"I guess so."

Santana barged into the room soon after and with an air of authority walked over towards the two girls sitting and handed Brittany the shampoo bottle before she began turning on the taps. Testing the water Santana deemed it warm enough before nudging Rachel's head towards the water. Taking the hint Rachel moved forwards thankful that it was luke-warm rather than scalding. Brittany washed out her hair gently before she lathered it up with the sweet smelling shampoo. Santana watched on silently.

Rachel absentmindedly began towel drying her hair with the towel Santana had thrust in her direction. She turned to the Latino, with eyes full of questions.

"Contain yourself hobbit. We aren't best friends now. This was a favour. I heard through the grapevine about who adopted Puck and Quinn's baby. You didn't need all the extra shit today, you're already loco, we don't need something to tip the scales."

Rachel smiled softly at the hidden meaning behind Santana's words, 'You're having a tough time of it and you don't deserve this'. Quietly she murmured, "Thank-you."

Brittany beamed while Santana rolled her eyes.

Glee club was usually Rachel's favourite part of the day. Today however, she was reluctant to go. If she went today this would be her last ever glee club meeting. She would never get to sit around and sing songs that told people stories that few would be brave enough to tell themselves without the shields of drums or guitars. It was all over.

She couldn't find it in herself to blame Jesse however. Yes, while he had been at New Directions, certainly their male vocals had improved but Rachel was aware that while she and Jesse sounded good, amazing even, together the two of them with the rest of New Directions were not ready yet to take down the power house that was Vocal Adrenaline. Vocal Adrenaline had the numbers, the sound and the synchronicity that as a new club New Directions lacked. And while New Directions made up for it with sheer force of will and love for music, sometimes even that wasn't enough. Still though… Aural Intensity?

Well _that_ was a fix.

Taking a deep breath she reluctantly moved into the choir room to find it empty. Gazing around she thought of all the moments she and her friends had shared here, all the songs, dreams and tears that had defined them all as a group and as friends. She truly hated that it was over.

Hearing the others come in behind her and hastily wiped the few stray tears from her cheeks and turned to them with a smile. Finn rushed forwards and she recoiled slightly. "We're thinking about doing a song for Mr Shue, to say thanks you know?"

"That sounds like a lovely idea everyone!"

"Can you think of any songs that we could do?"

Rachel looked at them all then her eyes flickered to the whiteboard that she had 'Good Luck Guys!' written over it in Mr Shues' untidy scrawl. Her heart warmed and she just new the song they had to perform. "I've got an idea…"

* * *

After their performance of 'To Sir, With Love' Rachel found herself sitting behind the gymnasium nearly hysterical. She couldn't handle being in the auditorium a second longer and had promptly abandoned the room for some air . She just needed to breathe.

"Hey." She didn't need to look up to realise Jesse was standing behind her.

"What? How did you know to come here?" She asked through her tears before pressing her face into her knees not really waiting for an answer.

Looking down at the little heart broken girl Jesse sighed before moving to stand behind her and bending down to sit behind her. He turned her around on his lap before taking the handkerchief out of his jackets top pocket and mopping up her tears. "Well, Seeing as I gave you a ride to school this morning I did assume I would be giving you one back. And after waiting in my car for about 20 minutes before realising that you had glee club today," He rubbed her back soothingly when her cries hitched at the mention of glee club, "And I went over to the auditorium to see what you were doing. Your song was beautiful by the way. And that's the story really, I saw you leave and then I came here to comfort you."

"I'm going to miss them so much Jesse." she gazed into his eyes as he continued to dab at her face with his now ruined handkerchief. "What if they don't want to be my friend anymore now that we aren't in glee club together?"

Jesse tilted her chin upwards, "Don't think like that Rachel, of course they'll still be your friends. You are a family Rachel, that doesn't change." Jesse leaned forward and caressed her lips with his own, savouring the soft texture of her mouth.

Rachel pressed herself hard against him, slipping her tongue into his mouth and pressing herself further into his lap. One of her hands snaked up into his hair as the other curled around a muscular bicep. Rachel shifted her hips slightly to create friction and was pressed to feel the evidence of Jesse's excitement pressed against the inside of her thigh.

Jesse pulled away slightly, "No, Rachel. Not here." Rachel rolled her eyes and moved forward slightly to kiss down his neck.

"We've made out in school before Jesse, what's the big deal?" She whispered before moving to suckle on his collarbone . Jesse's eyes rolled back at the feel of her tongue on his sensitive skin and he groaned at the feel of her teeth scraping his skin. Trying to remember why he was protesting he gently pulled at Rachel's hair to remove her from his neck.

"Not like this Rachel, not when you're so upset. You aren't doing this because you want too." He said breathlessly.

"I always want you Jesse." Jesse gulped.

"Be that as it may, now is not the right time too-"

"What the fuck?" Jesse and Rachel's heads snapped around to stare at the intruder.

Finn Hudson.

* * *

One remote thought crossed Jesse's mind as he glared at the gangly boy who was looking at him with disgust and shock evident on his features.

'Fuck My Life.'


End file.
